Sitting at home today, feeling under the weather, I have to ask a very important question. Please don’t answer quickly – take some time to give it some consideration. What I want to know, as I sit here blowing my nose and rubbing my eyes, is where the hell is my elephant???
Come on people – in the Visa card commercials the zoo keeper is sick and the nice elephant goes shopping for soup, a blanket, and some cold medicine so his friend will feel better. Well, I’m miserable. Have a headache, my back hurts, allergies are kicking the shit out of the back of my eyeballs, and even my back teeth hurt. No elephant came to help me, to comfort me. I really could have used some hot soup too.
Did my elephant get lost? No Onstar in it’s trunk to give him turn by turn directions? Did it take a left instead of a right? I need to know. Where did my elephant go? Is he just misplaced? Though how one could misplace an enormous gray elephant is beyond me.
I feel cheated. I have one of those cards that it advertises. What good is it if it doesn’t come with an elephant? I certainly don’t feel like going out to get those things for myself. Why didn’t they use a grizzly bear in the commercial instead of an elephant? Grizzly bears are furry and a bit more cuddly then an elephant…don’t you think? Ok, sure it has paws with enormous claws and pretty sharp teeth – but no relationship is perfect.
Maybe I should sue the company for breach of elephant. I don’t want to make a big stink over this though – I JUST WANT MY ELEPHANT! Anyone have a spare?
