Some times I wonder how people deal with the problems in their lives. Do they open up and share them or try to keep the problem to themselves? In the line of work I do, I often see those people who try to keep it all bottled up inside, explode and do uncharacteristically bad things – which then often leads to a personal crisis.
I believe everyone needs a person they can talk to and bounce things off of. If everyone had more intimate friends, there would be less suicides, domestic disturbances, and even child abuse. So many of those calls are about someone who reached the end of their rope and there was no one there to hand them more. We have a term for that at work “Critical Crisis” moments.
What makes people keep stuff bottled and boxed up inside? Is it because they are ashamed of what they are thinking or doing? Is it because it would shatter an image they have tried so hard to maintain in front of friends and family? Are they saying to themselves “if people really knew what I was thinking, they’d be _____ (shocked, dismayed, angry, hurt) you can fill in the last word that applies. Are they afraid people will look at them differently? Think they were nuts?
Why do we try so hard to be what other people think we should be? Everyone works so hard at that outer image that they neglect their inner self. I am as guilty of it as anyone. I work especially hard to never let my son see that I’m blue, or my anxiety over things that concern him, or how lonely I am with him so far away. I do this because I don’t want him to worry about me – I want him to go about his life feeling like I’m a solid rock he can lean on no matter what.
Most people are quietly struggling to keep some part of their façade in order. We juggle with what we think others expect of us and yet feel this emptiness or turmoil inside because we aren’t being ourselves. Sometimes there is a little voice inside screaming to get out, wanting to be expressed, wanting us to be the person we want to be. Yet the voice remains unanswered as choices we make are geared towards keeping our façade in place. We can’t free ourselves – it’s too scary and we feel too vulnerable. Also, we have other people to consider as what we do impacts them – like a ripple effect.
I’m not advocating everyone just throwing away everything in pursuit of learning who they really are. Everything has a balance. If we give one part of who we are a chance to reveal itself then we are at least acknowledging that little voice. Do something you have been wanting to do but haven’t because of circumstance. Be creative and let your energies flow uninhibited.
I have seen the results of keeping oneself and their thoughts/feelings bottled up. I also have known the sweet release I feel when I share my thoughts/feelings with a close friend. That friend might not say a thing – or maybe they give words of encouragement – or maybe you ask their opinion on something that you are so close to that you can’t see straight. Whatever the case – I strongly believe society as a whole and us as individuals would be more content in life if we shared our inner self with close friends and/or confidants.
All you need is deep within you waiting to unfold and reveal itself. All you have to do is be still and take time to seek for what is within, and you will surely find it. –Eileen Caddy
