Life and Living

I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. –Agatha Christie

The other side of the coin of life is death. Who would, in their right mind choose that over life? This quote is one of my favorites because it rings so true to me. I think being alive is the grandest of all things. We get so focused on the sorrow, misery, hatred, and negativity that we forget that life is very precious and fragile. Instead of looking for the positive and the beauty in the day, we only see the problems.

Life is a field of flowers, a calm night with crickets chirping, a soft breeze rustling through the trees, a big moon against a backdrop of infinite stars. Life is so awesome! There is so much to do and so much to see – if we can only see past ourselves.

Another quote I like is: Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

If we could only do this then life would be so much easier. If we could erase our slates when we close our eyes to sleep then we have a fresh view the next morning and a eagerness to find the joy of the new day. If we awaken still bearing yesterday’s burdens, we find the slightest problem of the new day seems heavier then it should.

All the time I tell people “life is too short” – that they should live now the way that makes them happy rather then spending each day making plans for the next. If they want to go to school, travel, move, or anything else, I say do it now – seize the moment because you might not have any past the one you are currently living in.

I am still learning the truth of this myself. It is a difficult thing, actually finding oneself, because then you have no excuses for who you are. You are better able to control who you become but it is easier to spend one’s energy keeping up the facade of who we aren’t then face the uncertainty of what we make of ourselves. Does that make sense? It makes sense in my mind but I’m not sure I’m getting it down to paper correctly.

We all go on a quest to “find ourselves”…within and without. The question is, what will you do once you find yourself? Will it be a life altering experience?

Days Ago

Well, I got my computer moved downstairs which is one of the things on my list that I can cross off now. Love crossing things off. Have dishes left to do and the kitchen to clean up. Maybe I’ll even get another walk in with Baxter before the rain starts…if we get any.

Our parking lot is now sealed and our bumpers are a new, bright yellow. I’m told next week they will come and put our numbers on the bumpers but I won’t hold my breath…it took them four months to do what they’ve done so far.

You know how something takes forever when you are waiting for it? I’ve been waiting for the mail all day and it still isn’t here. Yesterday it came before noon but today, no go. Drives me crazy that it is so unpredictable. When I was a kid, a person could pretty much count on the mailman arriving at the same exact time every day. Guess those were the days. Sometimes Mom would sit there waiting for it and we never had to wait that long because it was always on time. Not anymore. Now it arrives anytime between 10am and 5pm. The government bitches because people aren’t using the federal mail anymore but why would they when the prices keep going up while the service becomes more unreliable?

One of my neighbors came over to interrupt my train of thought. I don’t know now what I was thinking about talking about next. The brain goes. I don’t even remember why he interrupted me now…something to do with the sprinklers I think. He goes off on tirades so the I start to tune out after a few minutes. Had other neighbors do that yesterday – interrupt me.

They saw the little fire in the playground and expected someone would do something about it. It burned for a full day before I called the fire department. I hated to waste their time on something so minor but the park doesn’t have water so no way I could put it out myself. I tried putting sand on it but it was down in the 3” mulch so even after I thought I had it all, I didn’t. Goes to show why we tell people not to put stuff out themselves. Then my neighbors stopped me to complain that someone in the third building should have called because all 12 of the units have an unobstructed view of the park. What difference does it make who calls as long as the fire goes out before it burns the wood toys? Arg.
Well, still no mailman. Damn. I’m trying to keep busy doing other things but it is hard. I still have a lot to do but damn, wish I could get the mail out of the way. What is so important about the mail? I am suppose to be receiving a cable that “might” help me get the internet back and I’m rather hoping it comes today.

Of course, maybe it already came and I just didn’t get anything – that is a possibility as I wasn’t home all day. It really, really stinks not having the internet. I really hate it. Feel like I’m cut off from the entire world.

On a totally different note – I am amazed t how clear movies on when I play them on my computer. The detail and sharpness is just fantastic! I suppose HDTV is just as sharp but I’m not rich enough to afford that.