Ruthless Abandon

As I started the day ruthlessly getting rid of my beloved books – I decided to continue next with my wardrobe. Have two boxes of stuff so far to take and several garbage bags to get rid of. Am taking the books and clothes to Goodwill.

Two of the three dressers I own will go out to the curb soon – I’ll use the last one till I leave. The bookcases and (god willing) the sofa will also go out soon. I’ll bring the remaining chair in the den down so I can start cleaning the outside of the huge window in there. Will have to clean the blinds as well – really, there is so much to do.

Most of the items will be out of my bedroom so I can get started on deep cleaning that room as well. So much to do – it’s mind boggling. I really think the best idea is to get everything out so I can get it thoroughly clean and get repairs completed. Then I can see about renting it out…I think a lot of it I could get done if I had three days off in a row and my nosy neighbor was gone.

What kind of life must the man have if all he does is sit around on his patio and drink? Not a very high quality life that is for sure. He has asked me twice this past week how m

Arraignment

Today was arraignment for Mike Ray – Denise’s killer. He waived his right to be there just has he had for first appearance. They say he pretty much refuses to talk to anyone. The press was everywhere hoping to get a glimpse of the cold blooded killer but they were in for a big disappointment. I think he knows everyone is gunning for him and is afraid to leave his cell. I think he is only thinking about himself – he has expressed no remorse.

Thinking about it made me cry earlier but I’m better now. Susan said it will take awhile before I can think about it without being upset. I just wish I could have spoken to him on that day. No, I probably wouldn’t have been able to talk him out of it but I could have at least tried. At least I would know that I had tried everything. I regret, sometimes, asking if I could call him back rather then just doing it before anyone could stop me. But I knew it was a precarious situation and how would I have felt if my calling him back had caused him to kill her? It is one of those times when I’m glad I’m not a supervisor who has to make that call.

What makes me angry too are the people who could have helped her but didn’t. I’d say they have to live with themselves…but anyone who can watch what they did and not do anything right then…they probably don’t have the capacity to feel guilt.

Karma…it is just about the only thing I can rely on for vengeance. What goes around, comes around…keep that in mind, Mike.

Saying Goodbye

Being the organized person I am, I decided that only one box of books could be moved – the rest have to be donated to the library.

I have three bookcases so you can imagine the dilemma of trying to decide which books I couldn’t part with. The box – 14×14 – was filled and emptied several times before I finally am satisfied that it holds books I can’t easily replace.

Since I was a wee child, I’ve been a bookworm. I love books – love being around books, love touching books, love reading them too. My first serious job was in a library. When I walked through from office to office or on breaks, I would browse the shelves just running my fingers over the binds. I found comfort there in the stacks. After I left the library for the recreation center, I would volunteer to check in the books a few hours every week just so I could be there looking after them. I hate when people throw or beat up on a book.

Books were my escape from a childhood that was hurtful and hard. I don’t know who I’d be right now if I hadn’t buried myself in books. {sigh} I know I will start a new collection up in Iowa but have decided that I won’t recollect the books I’m giving up now. I’ve already collected them twice and just can’t see spending the money on them a third time.

Amazon has a device out that holds over 200 titles (I imagine it depends on how many words the book is) so I may get one of those and download some books to it. But I suppose really, I should save the trees and not buy hardcopies anymore when a person can so easily read them on the internet now or check them out from the library.

Sum of a Person

The other night we received a call about a 19yr old boy who was shot to death in his own front yard. I don’t know a lot of the details but do know that they caught the kids who did the shooting. I’ve spoken to the boy’s father three times now and am sad for all that he is going through. It would be a very devastating thing – outliving one’s children. Also having his child die such a violent death there in the yard the man has probably mowed a few hundred times over the years. I wonder if they will move?

While helping to work this call – it wasn’t my call so I did sideline work, I found myself wondering what the boy’s obituary would say. How does one sum up a person’s life in the space newspapers allot? Really, what is the sum of a man’s life?

Is the sum of a person’s life their achievements – the things they accomplished while on this earth? Is that all it is? Is it the things you’ll be remembered for when you are gone? Is that the sum? What will our obituary say?

I believe it is impossible to sum up a person’s life – I don’t think we can even know or guess at how many lives we touch daily. Maybe a large portion of the sum comes from how we interact with the environment around us – both mentally, physically, and spiritually.

To me, it would be a mistake to count only the things we’ve done or accomplished. We must include our integrity, compassion, fairness, tolerance and loves – otherwise, what makes us any different then the next guy who accomplished the same things we did?

Dog Parks and Fire Ants

After our two mile walk today, I took Baxter over to the dog park so he could run free and play with other dogs. He loves it but always makes himself sick with all the running around he does in the heat. It is 82 degrees here by the way.

While in the dog park my ankle started bothering me where the new shoes connect with skin. I got one shoe off, turned to the other shoe to untie it and what happens but I’m bit by a fire ant. I am terribly allergic to fire ants – especially multiple bites. So I had to put my shoes back on.

So this is another thing I’m looking forward to in Iowa – being able to walk barefoot. I’ve always been a barefoot kind of gal – a tomboy to the core – and not being able to do that here has really stifled me. We have great grass in the back yard here but you can’t walk on it barefoot without getting bitten. I love the feel of grass blades between my toes – of sand, water and dirt.

I love getting dirty…as strange as that sounds. If I’m not getting my feet dirty, grass stains on my knees, dirty elbows and leaves in my hair then I’m just not having as much fun as I should be. I like to jump in mud puddles, to stand outside in the pouring rain, to go to the top of a hill and roll down it, to climb trees, etc. I love having FUN!

Of course I can be the practically perfect lady too who gets all dolled up right down to high heels – but I prefer the country girl in me.

So now I have another thing to look forward to in Iowa – getting dirty without getting bitten by fire ants and having to be rushed to the hospital. Sounds great to me!

Super Bowl Sunday

Supervisor Kris, being the magician she is, granted my request to only work four hours OT rather then eight. I was thrilled to get to go home early – had plenty here to do. The time off went way too fast but I did manage to get a few things done.

There is much yet for me to do and I’m still a bit worried about it all getting done and renting the condo. I’m going to see if the woman at work who does rentals will take it on. Have some work to do on it yet and am worried the most about the carpets. Chances are they’ll have to be replaced – how am I going to be able to afford that?