Life’s Joy

Joy – have you found it in your life? Have you given it to others? Would you say you are content – if not happy?

Life is so short – where do we spend our time and energy? What does that say about how we prioritize the things we hold dear?

My brother and I discussed these things today after enjoying the movie “The Bucket List” with Morgan Freedman and Jack Nicholson. It was a good movie.

Both of us would say we are content individuals – we aren’t always happy over our circumstances but no one ever is. I get down, stressed and unhappy – I throw myself on the floor in tantrums (not really but it sounded good) but at my core I believe my life is going along as it should be.

What is behind this contentment? It’s simple really – I have found myself. It took moving to Florida and being so utterly lonely at times but it was worth it. So many people never take the time or put forth the effort to truly find themselves. It is an old cliché, finding oneself, but a necessity if you ever hope to acquire true peace with life. Maybe some people are afraid of the journey, maybe they are afraid they won’t like what they find, or maybe they are happy being miserable…I don’t know.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step – I don’t know who said that but it is true. Finding oneself requires one to actually start searching themselves out. For me, that could only be done in quiet solitude with times of deep inner reflection. I have come a long way from where I was even a year ago. Finding oneself can take years – it can take a lifetime. But I believe it is worth it.

If you find yourself wondering if there isn’t more to life or feeling disharmony within yourself or feeling like life isn’t going the way it should – then I would venture a guess that you haven’t found yourself yet. Are you looking? Or are you bogged down by happenstance? Can you think of someone you know who seems happy in their own skin? Don’t they seem to have a joy that shines through them? It is because they searched themselves out and have embraced the inner them…all the good and the bad.

Start your journey – you don’t have to move away to do it, just need some regular quiet solitude to search your inner labyrinth – it is so worth the trip.

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It is Sunday and I’m waiting for my brother to arrive so we can go out to lunch and then a movie. It is my day of rest – I’ve been so stressed lately that it will be nice to just relax today. I look around me though and am not sure how relaxed I’ll be knowing I have so much yet to do.

Someone in my neighborhood has a rooster for a pet – it has been cockadoodling all morning. Made me laugh for some reason – a rooster in the city but he must be happy enough to be yoodling so much.

Baxter must be asleep upstairs – I hear him whining and gruffing every little bit which he only does in his sleep. My dog rarely ever barks – he’ll go days without barking at all – which is good. He’ll whine if he wants something but he doesn’t bark. Usually the only time he does bark is when we are playing tug of war or something like that.

Humid again here today – 88% humidity so it is like breathing through a wet washcloth. Ugh. I know it is winter up in Iowa but I am so ready for less humidity. It is 70 degrees out so one could open the windows if the humidity wasn’t so heavy.

It’s getting closer – the moving date. Am starting to stress out even more then before.

Exhausting Work

I do feel like I accomplished a lot today…just not as much as I had hoped to. What amazes me is how tired I am – I don’t understand it. I haven’t felt this bone weary tired in weeks.

The house is as clean as it is going to get tonight. I have to take the trash to the dumpster yet – probably have to make three trips to get it all over there. I wanted to get the patio cleaned but with the rain the patio was all wet so couldn’t vacuum it. Then I used my last vacuum bag up so have to go to Sears to get more – I would think someone would sell a generic brand but I’ve tried several and none of them fit right.

Did I mention how tired I am?

My boxes are all used up so I need to get more or cut back on what I’m sending. Man, I hate this whole moving thing. I hate the idea of moving to Iowa and staying with someone, then having to move again to my own place once I start getting paid from the University, then I’ll have to move again once I buy a house. I’ll probably have to rent storage space when I get up there rather then try to find someone’s house to store this stuff. I need to see about getting a post office box – wonder how much they cost? Are they cheaper in WL or are they the same as IC? Sis, if you read this, can you check WL to find out how much small and a medium boxes rent for there? Would like to have one before I leave so I can forward my mail from here.

I need to take Baxter out for his evening walk but I’m too tired to move right now. I think I’ll catch a half hour nap and then take him out. Why am I so tired??? We did walk our two miles this morning and it was pretty warm and humid out – maybe it zapped me more then I think? Can barely keep my eyes open – I’d worry about carbon monoxide poisoning if I had anything that ran off natural gas…being this tired just doesn’t feel normal. Good thing I’m taking tomorrow off from doing any work.