Attraction

I must have been halfway attractive once. As I look in the mirror, I try to see myself as even remotely attractive but I find it difficult. I’ve never considered myself attractive or even remarkably average – I’ve always described my appearance as more of a “Plain Jane.”

What has always confused me, in light of this consideration, is how men fell so hard for me – some to the point of obsession. What did they say that I don’t? Could it be that I am possibly a bit above average in the looks department…or was?

I think it was more my refusal to be tied down – my free spirit. I was someone they couldn’t have – I didn’t want marriage and told them so upfront. But, yet, I had men “in love” with me who I never dated. Men who started out as friends and would have remained friends had they not expressed how they were starting to feel about me.

I wish I was beautiful – had the classic beauty of Angelina Jolie – but I don’t and never will. But maybe I can get back to “somewhat attractive in the right light” look. I am working at it and hope to be in great shape by Christmas.

Will I “date” again? I honestly don’t know. I’d really like a guy friend to do things with, but not become involved sexually. I do know my makeup and clothes are sadly outdated. Maybe I can buy new soon.