There are a few things you never want to say if an officer picks you up for OWI. It doesn’t do much for your case and often insures that the officer is going to have less mercy on you if there is wiggle room.
One of these things is “Hey, I drank 2 1/2 pitchers of beer by myself and I didn’t feel it at all. Then I drank more when I drove over to my buddies house – maybe a six pack or more.” Especially don’t brag about the amount of liquor you drank, how you didn’t feel a thing and could have easily drank more before you drove home.
Secondly, don’t tell the officer that you speed all the time on the interstate because you feel it is safer to do so. Then, when the officer asks “How so?” don’t go into details of how you get up to 90+ to pass semi’s in a 70mph speed zone or how you like to always be in the lead so sometimes you have to maintain 90 mph for awhile to pass everyone in sight.
Third, you might not want to tell the officer that you don’t understand why he cared if you were speeding. Telling him that he should have looked the other way and eaten another donut, isn’t going to instill a feeling of camaraderie.
Last but not by any means least, don’t ramble on and on about how you wanted to join the military to shoot at people but they wouldn’t take you for whatever reason. Something about saying you’d rather be in a foreign country shooting at people seems to make the officer a little uneasy about releasing you back into the wild. Probably want to leave out any violent urges or fantasies you have too because, generally speaking, officer’s abhor violence.
Course, you could do all these things anyway but I assure you, you’ll end up in the orange jumpsuit in front of a judge who isn’t amused by your freckled, innocent looking baby face.
