One night to go

I wonder if Jesus thought this the night in Gethsemane – only one more night to go until I can sit at the right hand of my Father.  The prayers he prayed that night make me feel such sorrow.  Yes, I rejoice because he went through with  it but listen to his prayers:

Matthew 26: 39: “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me.  Yet not as I will, but as you will.”  He didn’t want to die.  He knew what a horrible death he would be made to suffer as well.  If you think about it, here is a man staring death in the face not because of anything he did but because of what his Father had asked of him.  Jesus did not go joyfully to the cross.

Matthew 26:42: “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”  He prays this prayer twice though he knows the answer because he knows what he is there to do – to save us.  What anguish he must have felt at that dark hour. 

Not only that but eleven of the twelve men he had served his life with, pouring everything into them, couldn’t even stand watch with him – they were too tired.  Jesus probably felt abandoned, alone, and so incredibly sad.  Not only could the eleven not stand watch with him, but the twelfth man betrayed him for thirty pieces of silver.  He was betrayed over money. 

You know, I often don’t think about Gethsemane because I don’t like to think about Jesus suffering there by himself.  Granted, he was never alone for his Father was with him, but he must have felt the weight of the world on him.  I can imagine his chest hurting from the stress and not being able to catch his breath as he thought about what lay ahead of him.

Yet he knew he had to do it to save mankind.  He was our only hope – forget superheros, none of them could have saved us.  Matthew 26:52 says: “Put your sword back in its place,” (one of the disciples had pulled a sword when the men came for Jesus – guess he must have finally awakened) Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.  Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?” 

Doesn’t that last sentence get you in the heart? He knew it must happen that way – there was no other way it could end.  He knew He could call on the Father and be saved but it would be at the price of us.  It reminds me of that saying “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.”  Jesus knew he would rise again – he knew the tribulation he was about to face was temporal.  That didn’t mean he wouldn’t feel the pain from the beating and being nailed to the cross.  At one point the pain was so bad he cried out “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)

When I wear the cross my son bought me years ago, I think of Jesus.  It is a reminder of what he sacrificed for me.  As the Son, he could have lived a long life full of riches and happiness had he chosen to deny his mission – but he didn’t.  Jesus died for us…for me.  It is a reminder of what Jesus said last.  He said “It is finished.” (John 19:20)

Is it any wonder that we can only receive salvation by asking Jesus into our lives? Through him and this great sacrifice he did for us, we can inherit the kingdom of God.  What a privilege and honor.

One More Day With You

Aren’t there so many people you wish you could have one more day with? I can think of several with my Mom being at the top of the list.  Wish I had one more day to tell her I loved her and give her a big hug.  I’m big on hugs.  I would tell her that she left me just when I needed her most – I was too young to lose her…I wasn’t ready.  You know how young women think of their mother as old fashioned or not “up” on what is going on in the world?  Eventually, they come to the age where they realize their mother wasn’t as behind the times as they thought – that their mother actually had a lot of things right…that their mother was perhaps a lot wiser than one gave her credit for being.  I was in that phase of my life when Mom died.  I was beginning to realize I could learn so much from her and then she was gone.

I would also like one more day with my dad.  I would have liked to be sure of his salvation because whenever I asked him he would say “That is between me and God” which always left me concerned.  I like to think he was saved but he was a stubborn, head-strong man (oh I came by my own stubbornness and being head-strong honestly) who didn’t like authority figures that well.  He was a “man’s man” and I’m not sure what that meant to him.  So I would like one more day to pin him down, to talk to him about life and to give him a big hug.

I’d like to talk to my grandmothers again.  Actually, I’d like to listen to them talk about the old days because I wasn’t very attentive the first time.  I’d think to myself “What has this got to do with NOW?” and kind of tune them out…boy was I foolish.  Learning about the old days makes one appreciate the now.  Who was it that said “youth is wasted on the young?” That is so true – I was too busy being young.

I’d like one more day with Tim before he got involved in drugs.  I would have liked to find out what was bothering him because it was evident that something was.  Something was making him unhappy and reckless – it wasn’t like the Tim I grew up with.  I’d like to give him a big friendship hug and tell him I was sorry I let him down by not being there for him when he obviously needed a friend.

I’d like more time with Gib and Irene so that I could soak up some of their wisdom and knowledge.  What a fantastic couple they were!

There are people still alive that I would like to have more time with, my sister Linda comes to mind.  I wish a hug would wash away the hurt she carries around inside her. 

{sigh}  I know there are many others but I don’t have the time to list them all here.  If you aren’t on the above list, it doesn’t mean you aren’t in my heart and that I don’t want to give you a big hug too.  There is never enough hugging in the world.

Mid-Day Sun

It is after 1pm and I have been neglectful in starting my day out in the Bible.  Bennie was sick and had been sick in his kennel so there was that to clean up – then I had to walk them so they could go potty.  From there I had a few emails to zip off before I took a shower.  So here it is, 2pm and I’m just getting organized.  I have so much to do today too.

Really had no idea where to start in the bible today.  I am in the middle of a bible study but that didn’t seem the appropriate place to begin so I opened my bible to Romans 8:1 which is a place I always start when I don’t know where else to go. 

Romans 8:1 says “Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”  Think of that – no condemnation for I have been set free.  This verse is dear to my heart because a man I super respected would say to me “Kathy, Romans 8:1″ whenever I would start to have doubts.  He was a very dear man and I miss his wise input.  He was the kind of man you strove to make proud of you – he and his wife inspired me for years.  So whenever there is a question of where to begin, I hear his voice in my head repeating “Kathy, Romans 8:1.”

Romans goes on to say in 8:5-7 “Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.  The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; The sinful mind is hostile to God.  It does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so.”

This sounds so easy – believe in God and your mind is set free to worship God.  But the mind is a treacherous thing, isn’t it? We want to live in the Spirit but there are so many temptations that entice us to do things apart from God.  We start trying to direct our lives the way we think it should go and with each step, we find ourselves back in the sinful nature of the world.  To me, the only way to combat this onslaught is to take time with God every day and to pray about the sinful things that accost me.  As Charles Stanley says – take time to pause – don’t jump into anything without talking to God.

I wish I could say that I have mastered this but I haven’t.  I wish I could be one tenth the wise person my friend Gib was but I’m not.  I strive for it but I often fall short.  Something comes up or someone asks a question and I don’t pause before speaking.  It rarely turns out the way I mean for it.  I jumble the words or the person doesn’t follow my meaning and things end up worse than they should have been.

My saving Grace is Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  I know that God will bring good even out of negative experiences – He has promised to do so and I rest in His promises.  I also know that nothing can happen to me that God doesn’t allow and that if He allows adversity, He will bring good out of it somehow.

One thing I count on every day is the following from Romans 8:32-33 “What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”  Who can be against us if God is for us and with us at all times? No one and that gives me immense comfort.

Closing out Romans 8 are verses 38-39: “For I am  convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Wow, how cool is that?

I must say, Romans is one of my favorite chapters of the Bible.  It never fails to make me feel like I can confidently face the day.

Headache Central

Wow, I had a horrible migraine today.  My head still hurts but at least I can stand light again compared to earlier where even the slightest bit of light sent me screaming back into the dark.  This screen light is a bit much so I’ve got it dimmed as much as I can but still see what I’m typing.

So much for my first day off.  I did manage to walk the dogs but it was painful.  Took them out for a longer walk once the sun went down.