Update 2 yr old missing in Orlando

The news did a report a few minutes ago that a new concrete pad had been put down recently at the house where Casey was staying - they determined it was around the time the Caylee went missing.  It did not say if they were digging it up but I would assume that they are already in the process of doing so.

This whole story has continued to draw interest because there can be no closure until the little girl’s body is found.  It also continues to haunt millions of us who look at that sweet child’s face wondering how this mother could hurt such a beautiful child.  No matter what a person is going through, there are always options available and killing should never be one of them.

It brings tears to my eyes every time I hear or read an update.  I wish I could hold this little girl in my arms and protect her from the evil that befell her.  Again I find myself wishing that there was some tell tall signs of evilness so that we could identify them and keep the innocent safe.

Latest update on missing FL girl

I just finished reading an update on the missing child in FL.  I am more disturbed now then I was before because police found possible decomposition smells, dirt and hair in the defendant’s car that match the child.

Casey lied to her own parents about having a job, about the babysitter, and where she was staying.  Maybe part of the key to finding the daughter will be to figure out where they had been staying the past month prior to the report of the missing child.

Now, I have a big problem with the fact that her mother, Cindy, seems so willing to believe her.  Could this blind way of acting be one of the reason’s Casey felt the need to lie to her parents to begin with?  Children who feel a lot of pressure to always be perfect and exceed often lie to parents rather then risk disappointing them or asking them for help.

I don’t believe the child is alive.  I believe Casey killed her and buried her somewhere that makes sense to her - someplace accessible by her car and not far from a roadway.  Maybe she’d bury her in a favorite place of the child.  Maybe the mother fell on hard times and reached the end of her rope - killing the child rather then trying to continue to support her.  I’ve read stories of people who lock their children in cages, closets and basements because they can’t afford to pay a babysitter when they go to work.  Maybe this is something like that which ended up getting out of control causing the child’s death.  Maybe Casey didn’t want to admit to her mother that she couldn’t take care of the little girl - after all, she lied to her about having a job.

Unable to face her parents or the consequences of the death, Casey may have thought she could just get rid of the child’s body and no one would be the wiser.  She might have gotten away with it if family hadn’t started asking about her.

Maybe she drove around with the body in the car until the parents started pressuring her - that would account for the smell of decomp.  At this point, I think Casey really needs to come clean about what happened, tell the police where the body is, and deal with the consequences.  The longer it drags on, the guiltier she looks and the more sane because she is working so hard to cover it up…which would blow her chance at an insanity plea.

I don’t think her mother is helping her any by declaring the girl’s innocence.  She should be demanding her daughter tell the truth rather then making excuses for her to lie.  Quit telling her what a good mother she was - instead tell her that she needs to tell them what happened and that, whatever it is, as her mother she would forgive her.  That would give Casey the emotional and mental support she needed to tell the truth and get it all off her chest.

Of course, that is all my opinion which doesn’t count for much in this day and age.

Oh My Goodness

About 5 am a severe thunderstorm struck our area.  Alarms started going off everywhere, my police units couldn’t see in front of them to drive, I had guards out trying to find cover, we lost power and county set off their sirens without notifying us.  What a mess.

I know I did several things wrong during this massive incident but am not sure what all it is.  I will let my replacement know and she can evaluate the calls and let me know what I need to do differently next time.  This was my first major weather incident since working here so it was crazy.  I relied heavily on my Lieutenant to know what to do and pretty much followed what he said.  Hopefully that was correct.

I hope my replacement comes in early enough to discuss it because I can’t stay late when I have to be back in at 3pm.  She doesn’t have a trainee today but I bet it is still a hopping day for her with continued problems due to the storm.

Yes, it was crazy and I was a bit under pressure - but overall, I had a good time with the emergency.  I work well under pressure as a rule and even better when the pressure is weather related because I love natural disasters…not what they do to people but the awesome force they wield.

Hills had straight line winds which caused a lot of damage from what the county is saying over the radios.  No one was  hurt though so that is always good! Whew, glad it is over now and I can go home shortly!

Now He’s Dead

Person was riding along on his motorcycle, probably thinking about beating the severe thunderstorms home so he wouldn’t get soaked when out of nowhere, KABLAM!

I don’t know yet whether the person was wearing a helmet or even whose fault the accident was. I sent my officer’s out to help with traffic control as the City works the crash at a popular intersection. The mc driver was DOA - probably, hopefully, died instantly so felt no pain.

What is so scary to me, and so much a reminder of how fragile life is, is that he had no idea even a split second before hitting that intersection, that he had just used up his last moment on Earth. The bell tolled for him, his account for life canceled, the owl called his name, and the Grim Reaper was there to collect him.  That quickly a life can be extinguished - a person who had hopes, dreams and concerns about his life suddenly has no ties to life here at all.

Granted, we can’t think constantly about how this could be our last moment here but maybe we should take time every day to realize a lot of people won’t be alive by midnight tonight and that we never know when we might be included in that group. Appreciate the day, always. Appreciate our blessings and even our trials because having problems is a sign that we are still alive.

Can’t Fight That Feeling

Can’t seem to fight the feeling that I need to go to bed.  I haven’t gone to bed this early in a long time and really think I shouldn’t give in to the impulse now.  Next week I go to nights which will require me to be awake so I shouldn’t start getting acclimated to evenings again cuz then it will be so much harder to make the switch again.

Work went fairly well tonight - not as busy as last night which is good.

I was cruising the internet at one point, looking for something work related of course, when I ran across the kidnapping case that I have been trying so hard to forget.  It really hit me hard and I couldn’t get it out of my mind for hours.  Funny how it can still come up on me and slam me down.  The trial starts in November - I can’t see any reason they would need me to come back for it so that is good at least.  I would if they subpoenaed me for it but I can’t think of any reason they would.

So glad I’m no longer in a job that has such an emotional drain on me.  So far we haven’t had to deal with a whole lot of life and death things which suits me just fine.  Ok, sometimes I miss the excitement of new things but we did have a plane crash the other day so can’t say it is just about student issues.  I didn’t take the call, it didn’t even happen on my shift, but the point is, things like that can happen even here.

Anyway, I’m losing the sleeping battle so guess I’ll put this to bed and then go myself.

Mother’s Day

As Mother’s Day gets into full swing, I pause to remember the women who made such a difference in my life. 

A white rose for each in hand, I drove to the cemetery where all three are spending their eternal rest.  On roads barely wide enough for an automobile, I creep along at the posted speed of 15 mph.  To my right, I pass the black angel and make a mental note to tell my older sister that she should write a post on the angel’s history - she knows it better then I do as it was put there long before I was born.

I slow to a stop at the first headstone of the three that I am visiting this lovely day.  The grave belongs to my Grandma Morely who, ironically, was the last of the three to die.  My son is with me and I repeat a tradition started back in the early 90’s.

“Grandma Morely taught me endurance and patience.” I began as I lay the rose down, “She had just about every cancer a person could have in the last thirty years of her life but she continued to fight because life was to precious to give up on.  Her optimism and desire to live her life on her terms made me realize at a young age that women could not only stand on their own, but be happy doing so.”

“I remember visiting her - she seemed so frail but strongly insisted on doing everything for herself.  She’d act insulted if I offered my arm as support while we walked around.  She would do dishes and make the bed herself even though she didn’t have a lot of strength.” My son fondly recalls.

“She had to face many things in her lifetime - including the loss of children - yet she stayed strong emotionally and lived to be 87 years old.” I conclude as we climb back into the car.

The second woman is number one as far as influences went - it is, of course, my mother’s grave.  My son waits in the car to give me the privacy I need.  I whisper “I miss you mom” and lay the rose down on her headstone.

“I remember Grandma signing to me when we’d drive places.  She loved singing ‘Old Shep’ - it always made me want a dog of my own.” My son started as I got in the car.  I nodded, trying to shrug off the sadness that has befallen me.

“She’d cook whatever I wanted whenever I stayed at her house.  I also remember her beautiful handwriting - no one writes like that anymore.” He goes on, ”It is so weird when people tell me they are spending time with their Grandma’s because mine have been gone for so long.  I envy them.”

“Mom suffered so much as a young girl.  Her father abused her which gave her no self-esteem.  She was practically afraid of her own shadow and often retreated into herself.  Later in life, she rose like the Phoenix from the rubble of her past and found happiness, independence, and confidence.  She showed me that it is never too late to change  as long as a person has breath, they can reinvent themselves.” I feel the tears welling in my eyes and quickly - faster then the 15 mph posted limit, drive to the final grave we are visiting today.

My son joins me at the graveside of his Great Grandma Hestness.  I put the rose between the headstones of her and her husband, Clarence.  “Grandma Hestness’s life showed me that I don’t want to be alone in my old age.  She sat around waiting for phone calls from her children - sometimes she had to wait a very long time.  When we did get together, she liked to play Shanghi and was quite cut throat about it.  She could - out of guilt or sympathy - get us to give her a card she needed, then go out on us all with a loud triumphant cry.” I smiled thinking about all the times I fell for her ‘poor me’ routine only to have her leave me with a fistful of cards.  She didn’t like to lose.  I learned to dislike competitive things from her.  I found it was more satisfying letting someone else take the glory - I am a background worker and content to be so.

As we leave the cemetery, my son wishes, once again, that his grandparents were still alive.  “Just think of all the things in history that they experienced first hand.” He sighs, “I wish I could visit with them to hear their stories.”

I nodded.  I have often wished the same thing.  I wish I had realized what a wealth of information they were back when I was young so I could have paid better attention…but I didn’t and now the opportunity is lost forever.

Sleep of the Dead

Admittedly, I was tired.  Seriously, I came home and felt like I could sleep for a year.  Was in bed by 9am and slept…till 6pm.  I didn’t hear the kids get up, didn’t hear the noise the dogs made, had the window open and didn’t hear the usually loud neighbors.  Slept like the dead. 

The problem, of course, is that now my entire Saturday is gone and I only have one day left of my weekend.  Yesterday I also slept like the dead for nine hours so one would have thought I wouldn’t need that much today but I must have if I slept that soundly.  Maybe my iron level has dropped again - I always sleep more when it is lower then just below normal.  Don’t think it is ever what the doctor’s consider “normal”…so guess below normal is normal for me. 

From the looks of it outside, it has been raining for awhile now.  Maybe that contributed to sleeping better as it would have kept noisy people indoors…

Last night was hell.  We had bar sweeps going on - that is where a team hits every bar in town several times to hand out tickets to underaged bar drinkers - so that was an added burden to an already busy Friday night.  Had three officers on duty doing traffic stops and nine guards on duty checking each of the buildings.  We had a stolen vehicle, several fights, one foot pursuit, vehicle break-ins and I lost count of the public intox pickups.  We didn’t even get a break until after 4 am cuz it was too busy. 

Even though I felt overwhelmed a few times and it was stressful, I enjoyed being that busy.  My hope is that, someday soon, I can handle all of that without feeling like I’m screwing it all up by being too slow.  I really have a new found respect for the dispatchers in Sarasota who handle five times as many people and situations - no wonder some of them got loud with frustration at times.

Guess I’ll go take Baxter out for a short ride.  He has been kind of down the past couple of days because I’ve been too busy and too tired to take him out to play.  I’d take him for a walk but it is still raining out and I don’t feel like getting wet.

Was looking for apartments today and was very disappointed at the lack of acceptable units in my price range.  Will have to keep looking but hope something comes up soon as I want to put a deposit down so I can move in the first of June.  {sigh}

 

Charlton Heston

Charlton Heston has joined the legendary greats in death. I am sadden by his loss not only because he was a great actor, but because it feels like another link to my past and to my mother has been severed. Charlton Heston made her temperature rise, and not in a bad way.

It seems more and more the great movie stars and singers that she listened or watched while I was growing up, are dying away. Johnny Cash, John Wayne (whom she named my son for), Marty Robbins, Yul Brenner, Elvis Presley…I could name others and really, some of them died before Mom but I can’t hear or see them without thinking of her.

I miss my mother. Its been over 15 years since she died and I still miss her. My sister and I were talking about her the other day and it made me smile. Maybe one never gets over the pain of losing a parent. I can’t say the pain for losing Dad came anywhere close to the pain of losing Mom - but that was because he was never there and she always was.

I’m sure Mom was happily waiting in the greeters line of heaven as Saint Peter let Charlton in the pearly gates. She probably couldn’t wait to get his autograph.

Psyche Evals

Wouldn’t it be nice if judges could order psyche evals for people before they release them on bail? Have a check ran by checking with friends on whether the person ever displayed violent tendencies or spoke of murder or suicide?

The news eludes to the fact that today’s gunman should have been considered an “at risk person and possibly monitored better. What they base it on other then hindsight, I don’t know. But wouldn’t it be nice if the courts had the manpower to spend time figuring out who might kill themselves and/or their families?

I’d assume, from watching movies such as “cold cases”, “American Justice” and “Forensic Files” that there are some serious character markers to identify these people - someone just needs to standardize a profile the courts can use. Hey, if they error on the side of caution isn’t that better then five innocents being brutally murdered? I think so.

The judge can’t be blamed for releasing the man - he met the criteria for release. The judge followed the letter of the law. However, there has to be a psychological element to the law or what good is it???

The four children, by the way, all under the age of seven - were adopted from foreign countries. The youngest just arrived at the home a few weeks ago. The family had to fight to get the child after he was arrested. Guess those children didn’t have a chance in either their home countries or this one.

Dog Rescue

It is a beautiful 57 degrees here in IC and the sun is really shining! So inspiring was the warmth that we decided to take our three dogs on a nice walk. Each dog had a separate leash and separate handler so we could all enjoy the nice day without worrying about the dogs getting tangled.

It is muddy out but we found our way over to the nature trail that is not far from my son’s apartment. My son and his girlfriend let their dogs go once they are away from traffic - I can’t do that with Baxter because he keeps won’t listen to voice commands.

Our path took us around a pond whose surface ice has started to melt due to the warm day. Baxter loves the water but it was Rocco who decided he wanted to try his hand at ice skating. Unfortunately, the ice wasn’t strong enough around the edges to hold his weight. He started falling through and rather then head back to the shore where we were all screaming his name, he took off for stronger ice.

Still, he found patches that weren’t that strong and repeatedly fell through. My son got as close to the edge as he could and gently called Rocco over. Rocco, soaking and tired, came over but while he was still out of reach, he fell through the ice again.

This time there was no coming up for Rocco. His nose came up briefly then he sunk down beneath the ice. We were all screaming by then. My son, not about to lose his beloved dog, kicked off his shoes and literally jumped out to where Rocco had last been seen. He didn’t have to reach far under to find the dog and pull him up. The water wasn’t deeper then my son was tall so he wasn’t in any immediate danger of drowning - though believe me, my heart skipped a few beats. My son managed to grab Rocco around the upper body and pull him to the side of the pond.

My son was soaked from the arm pits down so we ended our short nature walk and headed back home so he could change into dry clothes. Rocco was cold but warmed up on the way back - he seems fine now. My child will probably be alright too, though he was sniffling a lot as he changed clothes.

Let me just say…it was scary as hell and I don’t ever want to see that happen again. I’m glad my son saved his dog - he would have been devastated if Rocco had drowned - and that my story has a happy ending. My son’s cell phone might be history but hey, small price to pay…you know?