Well, the storm has hit and it is crappy outside.  I’m not happy about it but this is what happens when we live in the Arctic states rather than the equator ones.  I’m suppose to get out in about an hour to meet someone for some artwork, then go pick up my son to run him around some before dropping him off at his girlfriends house.

I’m also suppose to pick my furlough days from work – have to take five.  Not sure if I should take them all at once or over a two month period.  The latter would be best for dispatch since our coworker is still out sick and will be for quite some time.  Arg.  I am not complaining about having to take them – there are a lot of people out of work so if I’m required to take five days without pay, so be it.  My problem is figuring out when to schedule them so there is the least amount of impact on work.

Yesterday my cousin told me my last remaining Uncle has only a few months to live.  It is sad to find out something like that – my heart goes out to them.  It puts life into perspective, doesn’t it?

I was thinking about this and myself.  I’ve never been one to accumulate money.  If I see it sitting in the bank I wonder what good things I could do with it rather than letting it sit there.  I know it would drive most people insane not to have a nest egg but it doesn’t bother me.  To me, life is short.  We are here today and gone tomorrow – really just mere seconds if you figure the time between when the Earth was born until its eventual death.  So I am going to pursue every avenue of pleasure, happiness, love, caring, giving, that is available to me during my few seconds. 

Some people save up an empire for their children – I say that is what life insurance is for.  My son will be comfortable when I die at the rate of insurance I have on myself right now.  I don’t want to go to the great thereafter without having experienced life to its fullest.  I have a “bucket list” of things I want to accomplish before I become no more. 

My Uncle can say he has lived a good life.  He has done many things and raised five wonderful children.  He has a loving wife who has loved him for 53 years I think is where they are up to now.  He made an honest living during his working days.  His integrity, ethics, and wisdom has inspired many.  I hope whatever time he has remaining on Earth is spent enjoying the fruits of his labors.

Well, here it is Sunday night and I’m home from work finally.  The day went very slow – I worked on some work stuff and played some.  Next weekend I have a trainee so it will go a little bit faster maybe.  I got several reports ready for training – maybe I’ll have a jump on it this time so it won’t be so overwhelming.

I am very tired and hope I sleep better tonight.  My hope is to be in bed by 10pm – I can sleep in tomorrow as I don’t have to be to work till 11am so that will be nice.

You know, I really don’t have anything to share tonight.  My mind has been pretty blank all day when it comes to creative stuff.  I wanted to start researching places to stop on my driving vacation next year but I didn’t get to it.  I pulled up a US map and that was as far as it went.  I’m wanting to go around the east coast – maybe up to New Hampshire down to Virgina then back over to Iowa through Kentucky and what not.  I’d like to take I80 most of the way over to the coastline but will have to see.  I would only have ten days so would want to hit the highlights.

Right now it is all in the thinking stage.  I think I would leave my dogs with my son and, if anything, take Rocko, his big Boxer.  I love that dog.  I’m not sure he’d want me taking him but I sure would feel safe with Rocko riding shotgun.  Of course, then there is the issue of motels but there are several chains that allow dogs now so I would only stay with them. 

Anyway, really don’t know what else to write about.  My sister and I are going West in April so want to go East on my solo trip.

Dear Family and Friends –

Another year is coming to a close and I know we all have many blessings that we are counting. We are also praying for blessings, some are praying for miracles, as we look forward to what 2010 will bring.

The truth is, it will bring a lot of the same thing 2009 brought as we continue to plod along on the same path we did. Many of us are in jobs we tolerate but few of us love our jobs and can’t wait to go to work come Monday morning. We have family and friends we stay in contact with – ones who care about us and who we care deeply for. There will be children’s games, school, homework, etc., for those who have school aged children – ballet, tap dancing, and other classes for those who have pre-school children. We will rotate the tires on our cars, buy groceries, watch tv, and continue on that way for the entire year. There is nothing wrong with this – it is called LIFE.

No matter how exciting or adventurous we want our lives to be, there will always be the regular mundane chores that must be done daily, weekly, and monthly. Tomorrow we could go ski down a mountain, the next sit for three hours at a Laundromat doing laundry. There is no way around these tasks – we all must do them…they are the substance our days are full of.

As with everything in life, there must be a balance or our lives are out of whack. This year I challenge each of you to dream larger, set goals higher, love more, give of yourself more, seek out new friends and reconnect with family that has grown distant over time. Life is bigger than all of us – it is also way too damn short so make yours amazing. If there is something you’ve been wanting to do but keep putting on the back burner – let 2010 be the year. Be unconventinal, break some rules, try something new…

We are a remarkable group of people – capable of fantastic things! Never sell yourself or your life short! Next year, let each of us do a Christmas letter that is so full of exciting things we’ve done, dreams we’ve realized, and new loves/friends we’ve met that we have to use both sides of the paper!

Merry Christmas!
Love, K

Why does the music stop? How does life seem to go from wonderful to insane and the holidays from happy to sad? We often think that there will be music forever as if life twirls around on a carousel with brightly painted circus animals with possibly a few dragons or fantasy things thrown in for good measure.

But for some the holidays are not going to be so merry – they aren’t going to sing “Joy to the World” or care whether it is a “White Christmas.”  They aren’t going to be looking under christmas trees for presents or standing under misletoe hoping for a kiss.  They will be standing in lines for kidney or cancer treatments, and a host of other things in places that smell medicinal.  They aren’t going to be sharing the time with loved ones except for maybe the ones who take them to and from the hospital or treatment center. 

I know, sad.  We found out early today that my uncle – my last surviving uncle – has cancer and his prognosis isn’t all that good.  Of course, they will try to do everything they can to help him but chances aren’t all that good.  I don’t know what all this means – don’t know if they have any idea on how much time he has left.  I do know he is a very sweet man and didn’t deserve this.  No one does, I know but it seems extra sad that they, his family and himself, found this out right before the holidays.

There are ample ways a person can give to help those around them – there are the bell ringers, toys for tots, food drives, etc. 

It is easy to take life for granted – to believe that the carousel will always go round and around, the pretty little horses go up and down, and the music will always play a cheerful tune.  But it isn’t so for everyone.  For some people the music stops and  while it maybe temporary in some cases, for others the music never starts again. 

While we are out buying gifts, singing holiday songs, and joyfully consuming punch – let us remember those less fortunate and those who won’t be able to spend the season at home with loved ones.

My back locked up on me while loading the clothes into the washer – guess it is still sore from yesterday.  I had to go down to my knees and slowly flex my back to get it back right – now it just aches.  LOL oh the joys of being 46.  Actually, that is a misnomer because 46 is too young to be having these kinds of pains – it is a cop-out to the fact that I’m really very out of shape.  It is why I am exercising more and trying to get motivated to be more active.  Don’t think a person can start blaming age until they are in their late fifties. 

I am washing rugs, throws, even pillows today – want everything clean for a change.  I have so much work to do at home yet to clean – wish I had my green machine but I loaned it to my son so don’t have it to help clean stuff.  I suppose I could try some of that carpet stuff that you spray on and then vacuum up.  I’m excited the house is finally getting organized but so very tired from all the work.  Hopefully I won’t have to do any more until I move somewhere else.

My hope is to move somewhere big enough to have either Thanksgiving or Christmas with the family.  We don’t get together as much because no one has a house big enough so it would be nice to change that.  Hope so anyway.  I can picture us all eating, laughing, reminiscing, playing games, sitting by the fire, sipping nice toasty hot chocolate maybe laced with just a wee bit of something, maybe all getting around in the family room to watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” together.   We’ll all catch up, see the new additions to the family, and maybe even get to meet new girlfriends/boyfriends of our young folk.  It would be awesome!

My sister Marge could bring the mashed potatoes her kids like and her gravy and some of those mean pies she makes from scratch; my sister Cyndi could bring scalloped potatoes (yum) or some to die for chocolate dessert; Carolyn could bring green bean casserole or maybe something with a little spice; Wanda could bring her rolls and a home-backed apple pie; my son would bring the broccoli casserole he likes to make and I would bring all the rest.  Ah, dear family, squelch those doubts and quit rolling your eyes – I really do know how to cook, you’d be surprised.  There would be pineapple martinis, hot chocolate with some peppermint schnapps, spiced rum, or the more conventional drinks like beer, soda, water, milk, etc., etc., 

We’d have turkey and ham, mashed potatoes from scratch (with Marge’s gravy cuz mine is a bit iffy); cranberry sauce; stuffing; and more.  It would be fun.  Seriously, I have it all planned out in my head – it is just getting a place where we can all do that.  Ah, someday…

 It was spitting snow earlier…  

My days off are almost over.  I don’t mind going back to work – granted, I wish I was wealthy so I wouldn’t have to but overall I like my job and the people I work with. 

Was planning on staying home all day today but that is quickly changing.  I am thinking I would rather go to the laundromat and get the laundry done all at once rather than spend three hours doing it load by load here.  I counted up the loads – there are three.  Each takes 28 minutes to wash and 1 hour to dry in our complex dryers…that is just too much time wasted though I know I could be doing other things here at home, I don’t want to stop what I’m doing every 28 minutes or so to go over to the other building to change my clothes around.  So I will probably go to the laundromat – spend an hour and a half getting the whole mess done.

I thought about running into Target too but think I will try to put that off until tomorrow.  My son didn’t think there would be time to do anything tonight before he goes to work so we aren’t planning on seeing each other until Sunday night or so.  I am still looking forward to the holidays.

Baxter is sitting at the gate to the bedroom wanting Isabel to come out to play.  She is on the other side yawning at him as if to say she is the ruler and he is a mere, uninteresting subject in her kingdom.  LOL.  He doesn’t understand that cats and dogs don’t play well together.  He thinks everyone loves him and wants to play.  I should take them to the dog park again today – let them run around even though it is cold outside – they have double coats so they won’t be cold, it would be me who froze which is why I’m thinking we probably will stay to our short walk outside.

I made roast for lunch – am going to make mashed potatoes and peas to go with it.  I don’t really need it but it sounded so good.  I don’t have room in my freezer for it anyway with the turkey in there.  The smallest turkey I could find was 12.6 lbs.  I could have just gotten a turkey breast to cook – it has the best meat anyway – but I wanted to do the whole turkey with stuffing and all.  My son will take home some of it and I’ll keep some for turkey sandwiches…sounds so good!

Sure looks like it could snow today…

Have a bad headache – not sure what caused it unless it is from being hatless today at the dog park.  I have new contacts in so it shouldn’t be that.  Really don’t know but it hurts behind my eyeballs – usually an indication of a migraine however the other symptoms are missing so think maybe it is allergies.  Keep going into coughing fits too…coughing not sneezing.

Every time I go into a coughing fit, Bennie jumps.  He is sacked out beside me still recovering from our adventures today.  It was funny that both dogs ran to the gate to go home before I was even halfway there – I think they were exhausted after being there for an hour yesterday and two hours today. 

I stopped at Stuff this morning but the fish tank and stand were gone – figured they would be. I really don’t have room for a fish tank anyway I suppose.  Bought more blue lights and some blue/silver garland for the tree so will get to that tomorrow sometime.  Need to do laundry tomorrow too and maybe move some furniture around.  I imagine my son will bring the table to me tomorrow because it is sitting in his girlfriends car.

I bought “It’s a Wonderful Life” but can’t find it anywhere.  I took it to my sister’s on Thanksgiving but didn’t take it out of the car I don’t think but can’t find it in the car anywhere either. 

I must admit, I didn’t get the stuff done I expected I would today.  I didn’t go to the grocery store or do any of the shopping.  I got caught up in a daydream that just went on and on and on…

Actually, it was a dream as I fell asleep on the couch waiting for my son to call me about supper.  Um…it is 6pm and he still hasn’t called so chances are very good he won’t which is fine because I am making tuna noodle casserole.  I have been thinking about making it for days but haven’t because I have been really craving red meat.  However, I don’t have any red meat in the house soooo…tuna will have to do for tonight.  I will get up early tomorrow and run errands first thing just to get them out-of-the-way.  Need to go pay my rent too so that gives me an excuse.  I might drop by the library as well.

Earlier when I took the dogs to the dog park, I was freezing.  My hands were bright red and my whole head hurt from the chill in the brisk wind.  Well, since I’ve been home I haven’t been able to get warm at all.  My hands hurt and my feet are as cold as ice.  I covered them both up while waiting for my son to call, hence the reason I fell asleep, but they still hurt and are cold.  Isn’t that weird? So going back outside tonight doesn’t excite me at all – not even to the store.  The only one who could get me out now would be my son but as he is probably at work, that won’t happen.

My neighbor came home and her dog started barking loudly, sending Isabel scurrying into the closet to hide.  I imagine it will take a little bit before she is use to the different sounds around here.  She has been fine though – eating and using her litter box.  She still doesn’t want to be cuddled but maybe that will change tonight when I go to bed.  Maybe she’ll climb up on the bed to sleep with me.

So what am I going to do tonight now that I’m not going out? Really didn’t have any plans – might write or might read or…quite possibly I’ll watch tv.  My Christmas cards are done so will get them in the mail tomorrow.  I almost considered doing a Christmas letter too but that would mean opening all the envelopes to stick it in and nothing too exciting has happened in my life to go to that mess.

I am inspired by my dream so I might write.  I know, starting another new story when I have seven stories going already is rather silly – maybe I can incorporate it into one of them…will have to see.  I don’t want to get out of the habit of writing that NaNo has encouraged.  The dream was so much like a fairy tale…not sure I could do it justice or if it could even be transformed into a story as a lot of the plot was shrouded in the misty mystery of dreamland.

Wow, I’m starving! I had tomato soup earlier today so it isn’t like this is the first time I’ve eaten today but I sure feel like it is.  Granted, there isn’t much to tomato soup – can pretty much drink it which is what I did when I got home from the dog park.  I thought it would warm me up.

I need to remember to get some more lights for my tree and some garland…blue I think.  It is a pretty tree but could be even prettier.  Also still need something on the top – not a star or an angel though.  I was looking for Eeyore…you know, the donkey from Winnie the Pooh.  I would prefer Pooh since he is my favorite but Eeyore is blue so he would match better. 

How can one’s mood go south so quickly? I was fine when I got off work – went and picked up my son & we went to Panera for coffee.  It was fine – I was fine…until I knocked over a full mug of hot coffee all over myself, the table, the booth seat, and the floor.  My son’s lightning reflexes saved him – thank goodness.  It was a disaster and it burned.

From there everything went downhill – I missed the turn to take him to work, which I’ve never done before, so he was almost late (had less than 2 minutes to spare) – then I went down the interstate, missed my exit so had to go down to the next one which is a tad bit longer but also has way more traffic.  I got behind someone who decided to go 25 in a 55 and could not pass.  We had a line at least three quarters mile long if not a full mile by the time we actually got to the 25 mph zone.  I’m surprised the asshole didn’t slow down to 5mph.

Got home in a semi-bad mood, sticky and wet.  Came inside and the dogs had made a big mess in their kennel which meant cleaning that, cleaning them and walking them.  I can barely hold my anger inside.  I was going to take my sister’s cat because her husband doesn’t want her to have it anymore – but I realized it would just be more of a disaster every day than just the dogs so had to decline.   My dogs chase the cats around here all the time – Bennie tries to grab them in his mouth – so no point putting myself or the cat through that.  I’m sure she can take it to the animal shelter and they will find a nice home for it if she can’t find anyone to take her.  I would love to have her – I love cats and she is a sweetie – but I have to draw the line somewhere for sanity’s sake.  Didn’t want Bennie and while I love him dearly, he is a big chore and the culprit behind most of the messes.  Someone told me he’d settle down once he was fixed – that is so not true…he is still just as bad as he was.

So here it is after 9pm and I have to be in bed in less than an hour.  I have done none of the things I had planned to do here at home plus I have to put up with that yucky wet dog smell until the dogs dry off.  I’m just so irritated I could gnaw my own hand off.

Well, the sales frenzy has begun for Black Friday.  I was at Wal-Mart earlier and they were expecting crowds start as early as midnight though a lot of the sales don’t start till 5am.  There was already one person in line waiting for some fantastic deal that starts at 5am in the electronics department.  I looked at the sales paper but didn’t see anything I thought was worth standing in line for over nine hours…guess I’m just a stick-in-the-mud.

Actually, I don’t plan on going anywhere tomorrow except to the dog park and to a store to get some milk.  Other than that, I plan on staying home – cleaning and relaxing now that NaNo is over.  I have to admit, I put back in a section I had taken out just to make up the word count – otherwise I don’t think I would have made it.  I had taken out a whole section that I didn’t think fit – I figured it would be a new story idea rather than including it as a subplot to this one.  However, it got to where I was falling too far behind so decided to put it back in.  I’m excited it is done but disappointed in the story overall – it didn’t turn out the way I had hoped at all.  It is not finished – probably another 10,000 words or so before it is done – but I’m not happy with it so not sure when I’ll work on it again.

I wanted so much to write a good, scary sci-fi book but it lacks a lot in both the good and the scary fields.  I dunno – it is the first scary story I have written – supernatural scary not serial killer scary.  Oh well.

On a different note, I couldn’t find Baxter there for a few minutes – kept calling to him and he wouldn’t come out so I shook the dog treat bag.  He poked his head out then – I wasn’t very happy with him.  He had gotten under the tree and was laying down on the railroad tracks.  Maybe he was going to do suicide by train…

Baxter takes great offense when I won’t grant him access to every area of the house.  If I restrict him from somewhere then he just has to go in there anyway.  It is very aggravating.  He knew he wasn’t allowed in the tree area but it didn’t stop him from going in when I wasn’t looking.  Last thing I want is for him to knock over the tree or break something under it.

Well, as I said it is after 1am so I am going to go to bed.  I had to drink a cup of coffee and juice on the way home to keep from falling asleep – seriously, I was in danger of nodding off a time or two while driving.  So I need to go to bed now so I can get up at a decent hour tomorrow.  I need to do laundry and clean.  Got my Christmas cards started too.  They are oversized so I’m wondering if they will require extra postage.

I am putting the wolf return address sticker on the back rather than where it belongs because the company left off most of my zip code so they are worthless for anything else.