It was a hard day today for many reasons.  I suppose the biggest one was the stress of training – dispatch is too crowded with three people in it and next week it will have four so that will even be worse.  I’m not looking forward to that.

Had one of the Captains explain something to me in a way that I thought it should be done but was different from the way I was told to do it.  I wish people could all get on the same page.  It is so disheartening to have one person tell you to do it one way and the other to tell you not to do it that way.  I never know who to follow because either way someone thinks I’m doing it wrong.  I’m just so weary of it all.

It is almost 9pm and I’m cooking supper.  I have to admit, I’m eating more for comfort than due to hunger.  A steak sounded really good so that is what I’m broiling right now.  Stopped at HyVee on the way home to pick up a few things – the store was packed.  The clerk asked me if I had all my grocery shopping done for Christmas and I groaned because I haven’t even taken stock yet of what I have and what I will need to buy.  I need to do that tomorrow night.

The weather is supposed to be bad the rest of the week – I’m so hoping the weather people are wrong because I can’t take it if they are right.  I’m just not feeling up to more snow driving.  I’ve got to pick up my son on Christmas morning and take him back home later in the day – really want it to be a day of stress free driving as I’ll have enough other things to be worrying about.  Ugh.

I should go to the gym – I know this – but I am too tired.  I know, that is no excuse.  I’m afraid it would wake me up more though when I am so close to bedtime.  Maybe I can go first thing in the morning.

So I got the tour of the gym – it is very nice.  I decided, naturally, to work out in the “women’s only” gym off the women’s locker room which was nice.  It doesn’t have as fancy of equipment but enough for me right now.  I worked on the treadmill, stair stepper and some free weights.  I must admit, by the free weights I was starting to feel that tingling in my ears and my neck hurt.  Even though I wanted to do more, I knew that meant it was time to stop for now.  Maybe I’ll go again later – I did enjoy it a lot.

In the locker room a very thin woman who looked like she was dying of cancer looked at me, rolled her eyes and made one of those little nasal ”hmmpf” sounds but this was the only person who did so.  I wanted to tell her I hoped I never looked as bony as she did but I bit my tongue.  Admittedly, I was not really dressed well for working out.  My sweatpants are men’s pants and about two sizes too big so they hang on me pretty awfully.  I do have danceskin workout clothes but I wouldn’t be caught dead in a public gym in them so guess I need to go buy some women’s sweatpants that actually fit. 

I wanted to go in the steam room but that is where little miss bitch went so I decided to call it a day.  Two things to keep in mind – always carry a water bottle and a sweat towel. 

I’ve been looking at sweatpants at Target and might go get some.  My son asked me to run him around today but he hasn’t called yet so guess he changed his mind.  My shirt and hair are still damp from sweat – need to do more of that.  I must admit, as I was working with weights, I almost broke down crying thinking of how far I have to go before I’ll look the way I want.  Just doesn’t seem fair.

Bummer, the one chick who seemed to have a level head on her shoulders just got eaten by Jaw’s twin Chops.  Guess that is only par for the course as it is always the level headed, not so cute girl, who gets ate up, butchered, or diced.  Can’t have someone who is too adorable know how to do anything but sit and whine for some masculine (ok, not in this movie) chump to come along and rescue them.  Unfortunately, the rescuer usually gets eaten – a small sacrifice on the throne of the more glamorous female.  Ah well, I’m not going to get into a diatribe of all that…we know my thoughts on the subject from previous posts. 

Went to visit my invalid friend who broke her ankles with her ladder.  She is in good spirits – probably much better than I would be in that situation.  She laughs at all the little immodesty she has had to endure as others help her go to the bathroom, walk and bathe.  She hopes to get a laptop in the next couple of days so then can at least get online to correspond and what not.

Had soup and coffee with my son – that was nice.  We had a good conversation talking about relationships and how difficult they can be.  Each time you put yourself out there, you bravely admit that you need others in your life – that you are willing to take a chance as friends or lovers.   So many of my friends are breaking up – some have been married for over 10 years only to find themselves being cast aside for younger models…not just women either.  It makes me quite happy to be single. 

Ah…Chops joins his brother in the big ocean in the sky…such a shame.  Why do the Jaws movies have to pick on Great Whites? They are such beautiful, majestic creatures. 

So my list for next year has begun.  So far, other than joining the gym, is scuba diving, moving, driving vacation, Utah in the spring, a visit to my niece in WI, and possibly learning belly dancing.  I’m actually hoping to get into kick boxing as well.  Might add to that list bungee jumping or rock climbing…not sure yet.  I’m not as young as I use to be…not sure I want to dangle on a rubberband or get rope burn.  I want to go to the Bahamas or Jamaica this year or early next (2011).  Guess we shall see what gets added or subtracted before the list is concrete on New Year’s Day. 

Going to let the dogs out for a bit – they are bothering me.

I’ve decided on joining the Core – I plan to sign up on Wednesday – maybe go watch a few classes so I can decide which ones I want to take, if any.  I think I could be in a lot better shape by my birthday if I start now – it is my Christmas present to myself.  It makes me excited – can’t wait to start buying new clothes.  I know, I know, I don’t really need new clothes – even once I get in shape – but I want ones.

I drank a Pina Colada earlier – it isn’t agree with me…maybe it was too strong.  I have 20 minutes until I go to bed.  The only problem with that is having to get back up to go to work.  Why can’t I be rich? Why can’t I be published? Well, because I never play the lottery and I don’t work on my manuscript so guess I can answer those questions myself.

Damn, I’m so very tired.  I have had 14 hours of sleep since Friday morning…that isn’t near enough.  I know several other people who have gotten less but I can’t go on much less than what I have been getting.  I need at least 8 hours of sleep everyday – going with three here, six there, four the next night with maybe a quick hour nap during the day is just not enough.

Oh well, I should be getting to sleep now instead of talking about how little sleep I’m getting. 

I’ve still been debating what gym to join – don’t seem to be getting any closer to a decision either.  I like that the Core offers a lot of different classes in addition to the exercise routines.  I could do kick boxing, yoga, spin, or weight lifting classes – one every day of the week if I wanted.  They have a sauna and a “women only” room that has exercise equipment in it for those days where the very sight of the male species leaves us wanting to tear our eyes out.  OK, it is really for when we feel crappy and don’t want to be in the public eye but the other sounded more dramatic. 

Another good thing about the Core is that it is about a mile from my house whereas Anytime Fitness is in Iowa City.  Anytime Fitness does not offer any classes but does have that whole flexibility thing going for it – plus it is $20 cheaper a month than the Core.  My coworker works out at the Core though and speaks highly of it.  {sigh}

• Well, it is my bedtime so I guess I will mull this over more tomorrow. 

why I didn’t want to get started on rearranging stuff – it is a big, horrible chore that kills my back.  I’m over half done so that is good but I have to say – it is nuts how small this apartment has become.  Course, right now the tree is taking up a quarter of the living room so that isn’t helping any.   Baxter is being a brat – no surprise there.  He hates change of any kind.

I did move the kennel over to protect the tree which freed up one of the gates so that is what I have at the bedroom door now.  Isabel can easily jump over it but the dogs can’t.  Baxter can if he gives it a few tries but he can’t try without me hearing him.  I would never leave them like this if I weren’t here – I’d come back to a totally destroyed apartment.  The treadmill will go where the tree is when I take it down the day after New Years.  I work New Year’s Eve – OT – so can’t do it that day.

Man my back hurts and I’m out of Advil.  It is freezing outside – I’ve been out a few times today barefoot in defiance of the pending snow.  Can’t be out long – just run to the dumpster and back.  It amazes me how much paper I accumulate at home – it ridiculous.  I need to find out how to get off the marketing list so I don’t get so much junk mail.  When I do get junk mail, I need to take it right to the dumpster instead of bringing it in.

My son is very excited about what he bought me for Christmas.  He says I’m going to love it – makes me want Christmas to hurry up and get here so I can see what it is.  I hope he likes all his presents.  I love my tree though – it looks so much better than the little table-top one.

Oh my goodness I ache!  I dread finishing the job but I have to.  I’m glad I am not moving like my sister – I’d be exhausted.  I do hope that the next place I rent has all I want it to have and is something I can rent for years until I can think about buying something myself.  Arg!

It is hard to believe that it was 60+ degrees yesterday.  It is 35 right now and not forecasted to get much higher than that.  Tomorrow there is a chance of snow…sigh.  I guess it has to come sometime but kind of wish it would have waited another couple weeks.  My coworker is very anxious for the stuff as she snowboards and can’t wait to be able to do that.  I should see about renting cross country equipment from the University.

I have errands to run again today but am not sure how quickly I’ll get around to doing them.  I want to go get some chairs for the table my son is bringing me – want to get a tablecloth for it too.  They make a tablecloth that matches my dish set so I will, of course, buy it.  They make placemats too but that would be a little much so I figured, the Tuscan tablecoth and solid placemats sometimes and a solid tablecloth with the Tuscan placemats sometimes.    Sure wish they would come out with a completer set for it.

I have started rearranging the house – did the bedroom already this morning but have stuff from the living room to move in there now that there is room.  I want to move the treadmill back into the living room since it is getting too cold to walk very far.  I think I will start using it five days a week instead of two to three.  Going to try to go farther too – three miles instead of one.

Well, I best get a move on…

What a beautiful day it is outside – in the 60’s.  Took the dog to the dog park for two hours – they are sacked out not moving.  There were a lot of beautiful dogs out there – I love seeing the different breeds.  A cute Boxer puppy was the king of the show though as he ran around to everyone wanting pets and to every dog to play.  We had a marvelous time – my feet ache from all the walking.

Of course, enjoying the outdoors means not being indoors to work on my list of things to get done – oh well.  I spent almost $200 at Walmart and had precious little to show for it.  I have decided to wean the dogs off wet food – they never use to get it and then I’d give it to them once and awhile as a treat – now they have come to expect it and it is just an added expense.  Especially when I also buy them treats.  My son is right – dogs don’t need treats all the time.

My son just called – how is that for ESP? He found me that table yesterday but I looked at it today and it is too big to fit in my car so I couldn’t get it.  I did see the loveseat he bought yesterday as he is picking it up today – it is nice and will fit in well at his house.  My next vehicle is going to be an SUV or a pickup truck so I can haul things without worrying about whether it is too big or not.  They are going to pick it up now and then Beth will take him to work.  I am pretty much expecting to be home the rest of the night which will give me ample time to clean.

I love Bob Marley – he sang the song I took the title from.  It was the song on when I opened the blog so it seemed like a fitting title.  I wish he were still alive – I might have even travel all the way down to Jamaica just to see him. 

I tore a contact this morning while trying to put it in so have only one new set left now.  I need to see about ordering new ones for myself and for my son if he wants some.

a very interesting day.  I am here at work, it is 7:04 am and I am operating on less than three hours of sleep.  I’m thankful I’m not training today because I wouldn’t have been any good at it.

Went to bed last night around 10:30pm hoping I would get a decent enough amount of sleep.  Well, I was up again by 12:15am because I heard a loud vehicle outside gunning it’s engine and honking it’s horn.  Then there were people laughing and carrying on out on the sidewalk as all the drunks in the next building found their way home (or maybe they were going out…I really don’t know).

Wide awake, but oh so weary, I tossed and turned once they finally left the area returning the night to a soft silence.  At 1am I decided that I wasn’t going back to bed because I was wide awake so I turned on music very low hoping it would be like a lullaby helping me drift off to sleep.  It didn’t.

So 1:30-3am saw me up watching tv.  About 3:15 or so I finally started to feel drowsy so I set the tv to automatically turn off in 30 minutes.  I was about to drift off when Bennie informed me he needed to go outside so I had to get back up for that.  I lay there listening to Columbo until the tv shut off.  Last time I looked at the clock it was 4:04 – drifted off and was awakened around 5am by another car outside delivering papers.  So that was my night.

I got up, walked the dogs again and got ready for work…yippee.  My only consolation is that this is the last day I have to work for the next five so I will have plenty of opportunity to get caught up on my sleep.

Also, I can’t complain too much because one of the officers worked 16 hours yesterday, went home for 8 hours of which he probably slept five, and came back in for another 16.  He is here now until 3pm.  I realize he signed up for the OT but that is still damn brutal.

How can one’s mood go south so quickly? I was fine when I got off work – went and picked up my son & we went to Panera for coffee.  It was fine – I was fine…until I knocked over a full mug of hot coffee all over myself, the table, the booth seat, and the floor.  My son’s lightning reflexes saved him – thank goodness.  It was a disaster and it burned.

From there everything went downhill – I missed the turn to take him to work, which I’ve never done before, so he was almost late (had less than 2 minutes to spare) – then I went down the interstate, missed my exit so had to go down to the next one which is a tad bit longer but also has way more traffic.  I got behind someone who decided to go 25 in a 55 and could not pass.  We had a line at least three quarters mile long if not a full mile by the time we actually got to the 25 mph zone.  I’m surprised the asshole didn’t slow down to 5mph.

Got home in a semi-bad mood, sticky and wet.  Came inside and the dogs had made a big mess in their kennel which meant cleaning that, cleaning them and walking them.  I can barely hold my anger inside.  I was going to take my sister’s cat because her husband doesn’t want her to have it anymore – but I realized it would just be more of a disaster every day than just the dogs so had to decline.   My dogs chase the cats around here all the time – Bennie tries to grab them in his mouth – so no point putting myself or the cat through that.  I’m sure she can take it to the animal shelter and they will find a nice home for it if she can’t find anyone to take her.  I would love to have her – I love cats and she is a sweetie – but I have to draw the line somewhere for sanity’s sake.  Didn’t want Bennie and while I love him dearly, he is a big chore and the culprit behind most of the messes.  Someone told me he’d settle down once he was fixed – that is so not true…he is still just as bad as he was.

So here it is after 9pm and I have to be in bed in less than an hour.  I have done none of the things I had planned to do here at home plus I have to put up with that yucky wet dog smell until the dogs dry off.  I’m just so irritated I could gnaw my own hand off.