I just got my reminder notice that I have training tomorrow at 8:45 am.  This means I will get off at 7am and have to hang around for a few hours before getting to go home.  It does not make me happy.  I won’t get paid for the time between getting off and the training – then the training could last 90 minutes which means I won’t get home till 10:30 am.

Obviously I can’t let the dogs stay cooped up in the kennel for this long so I suppose I will have to run home, walk them and then come back in for the stupid meeting.

Why is the meeting stupid, you may ask.  The thing is, we are not allowed to do anything with the alarm program itself so whatever they “train” us to do, we aren’t going to be allowed to do anyway.  Only two people are allowed to mess with the alarm program – the rest of us just acknowledge the alarms.  So why should we go to that training???

I don’t understand going to training for training sake.  This week long training we went to a couple weeks ago is probably a mute point too because now they have decided they can’t afford to pay us to be trainers.  But they didn’t “just” decide this, apparently they decided it last month so why didn’t they cancel our training?

I’m sorry, I don’t feel like wasting my time on pointless training even if I do get paid an hour of overtime.  I figured by moving to days and not getting my raise I will be losing $100 a month in shift differential pay.  Is it worth it? I just don’t know.

Ok, so I’m disenchanted and grumpy.  I know I should be thankful I have a job and all that good garbage.  But how great is it to have a job when you feel like the job is sucking your life away?

My job takes most of my energy for five days out of the week – I have to sleep or come into work.  That leaves two days to clean, see family and friends, relax, read, write, run errands, etc.  I realize that is the way it is for everyone usually.  But most people work 8 hour days so they have at least 4-6 hours each day for themselves.  Working 12 hour nights (or days soon) means there is no time for anything else but getting home, sleeping, checking a few emails, walking the dogs and coming back to work. I don’t sleep well – wake up tired all the time.

So yes, having to come in for crappy training, barely getting any sleep and having to be back in to work just pisses me off.  I have got to get published or something but when is there time?

I’m sorry, I know I’m complaining.  It is 3:30am and I am so very tired – nothing looks bright and cheery when I’m this tired.  Like this coming weekend I work 5 days instead of 4 because I agreed to work for my coworker Friday night.  I thought I would get the following Tuesday night off so I’d still only be working the 4 days but I was wrong.  Sunday is November 1st so it would be two different months to do it the way I thought.  Ugh.

My sister said it seems like I’m having a bad year.  I wouldn’t necessarily say it was a bad year but it certainly isn’t where I wanted to be at this juncture of my life. 

Just finished watching the documentary “Africa, The Serengeti” which was, obviously, about the animals of the Serengeti.  I certainly hope I get a opprotunity to visit Africa before I die – it looks like a most beautiful but brutal place.  In the film it had some crocodiles that were humungus…I’ve seen them this big at Busch Gardens but thought that was because they were fed well and not prone to the elements as they are in the wild.  In the Serengeti, besides humans, their only real tormentor is hippos.  A hippo can bit a human or a crocodile in half with one bite of its extraordinary jaws.  Hippos look so docile and friendly but, according to the film, their looks are deceiving.  They are very territorial animals and staunchly defend their space.

Africa has the largest conservation program in the world as it struggles to keep the animals from becoming extinct.  They continuously work on patrolling the land and work towards conservation.  Herds of elephants are once again starting to thrive because of the patrols keeping poachers away.  The black rhino is still having trouble but hopefully they will have more success as the government continues their efforts to bring them back from the brink.

If other countries worked as hard as Africa, the extinction rate would drop considerably worldwide.  I know there are other countries also working hard to save their animals, realizing that these animals are an asset rather than expendable.  Why can’t our people do the same? We have animals that should be greatly protected because their habitats are growing increasingly smaller – black bears come to mind but also buffalo and others.  If we keep populating the land with people, eventually the whole US is going to be one big city where the lines of states blur so much we can’t tell where we are without a road map.

What I need is one of those invisible dog fences at the entrance to every store so that, as I get closer and closer, I get a shock. Kind of like shark shields too. That way, every time I get near a Barnes and Nobel, Target, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, Borders, etc., I will not be able to go inside to spend money.

Today I fell victim of the last two on the list. My son asked if we could stop in at Borders (Waldenbooks) in the mall today after we ate. I said “sure” because I was positive nothing in there could sway me to use my bank card. Well, I was wrong. They had a nice selection of books for $6 plus a 20% off if you signed up for their FREE book card (why is Barnes and Nobel’s $25 a year or whatever it is now?) so how could I resist that?

I bought “The Woods” by Harlan Coben whom I have never read before but the book cover looked very good and “Pandora’s Daughter” by Iris Johansen who is an alright author in my opinion. As I was paying, the clerk told me that right next door they had their “specials” store that would be open through the holidays. This store had even more books on sale, he said. Why? Why did he have to tell me that??

So we stopped next door just to browse when my son found a book he wanted on politics so I decided I couldn’t pass up a Tess Gerritsen book also on sale for $6 called “The Mephisto Club” which I had in Florida but didn’t make the trip back with me. OK, so that is four hardbound books for $20…I can live with that.

I needed to pick up groceries so that is where Wal-Mart came in. Going there was the only thing on my list to do and I had a list I was going to stick strictly to. Actually, I did stick to the list pretty much with only a minor addition here and there like egg noodles, biscuits, and hair color. All my groceries fit in three of those tote bags I take with me. Granted, they fit a lot of stuff – using one tote easily saves three plastic bags or more – but that came to a whopping $78. I’m going to quit eating. Wal-Mart is such an evil place.

The cashier actually acted, at first, like using my totes (which they sell for ninety-nine cents) was going to be such a huge hardship on her. She frowned and sighed heavily because using them held up the line. Well, damn, I was the only person in her line so I don’t think it mattered much.

As I was driving home the sky went from sunshine to completely covered in clouds – it was like I drove into another dimension or something because the temps dropped quite a bit in minutes. We are suppose to get rain tonight so I will have to walk the dogs again before it starts.So now I am back home. There are many chores that need done and then I hope to have time to write tonight.

Tigers have long been a favorite big cat of mine – they are graceful, stunning and firmly on their way to extinction.  Of the eight subspecies of tigers, three have met with total extinction in my life time. This knowledge grieves me greatly.  I will never understand the human races need to destroy everything in its path in an effort to grind the environment to meet our needs rather than vice versa.

All tigers are on the endangered species list according to C.I.T.E.S (Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species).  The tiger is currently the MOST endangered animal in the world – so much so that the entire species may die out before our young children reach middle age.  How could we let this happen? Seriously, how can we live our lives every day not understanding how just about everything we do impacts the environment and the animals that live within it?

Below is the reported findings of the International Union for the Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources that summarizes the current status of my beloved felines.

Caspian Tigers: Became extinct in the early 1970’s.  As there are no specimens in captivity, this species has truly been wiped off the face of the earth.

Balinese Tigers: Became extinct in the mid 1970’s.  Again, as there are none in captivity, these beauties are also lost to us.

Javan Tiger: Became extinct in the early 1980’s.  Again, none are in captivity.  These three tigers will never again walk the earth or bask in the sunshine.

Sumatran Tigers: in critical danger.  There are no more than 250 tigers in the wild with their numbers declining each year.  Of the 250 tigers, there are less than 50 reproductive adults left.  Currently there are approximately 250 animals in captivity.

South China Tiger: in critical danger/pre-extinction.  Currently there are about 20 to 80 tigers left in the wild.  There are about 40 more in captivity.  Experts fear that there are not enough of these animals left to repopulate the species no matter how hard they try.  All efforts to save this animal came too little, too late. 

Siberian Tigers – in critical danger.  Less than 200 tigers remain in their natural habitat.  Only 20% of these live in a protected area making the other 80% susceptible to poaching and human encroachment.  There are approximately 1000 animals in captivity.

Indochinese Tigers: threatened.  Current figures believe there are 1200-1700 still roaming their territory.  As their habitat continues to be threatened by humans, their numbers are steadily declining.  There are about 60 tigers in captivity.

Bengal Tiger: In danger.  The Bengal has the largest population of tigers in the wild with 3,000 to 4,000.  Of those numbers, there are 2500 reproductive adults.  However, each year their numbers are declining.  There are some 350 tigers in captivity.

If we do not act now, my beloved tigers will not survive.  We must find a way, globally, to become more in tune with nature and how our behavior is destroying way more than we think.  We can no longer afford a cavalier attitude about anything and must extremely change our attitude if we are to save these exquisite creatures.  Please support conservation and the organizations that fight to save what precious little we have left.  Every little bit helps – each person can make a difference.  If every human donated $1, think of all the good that could be done for our environment!

There are many organizations working feverishly to bring animals back from the brink – a simple internet search and a little research can help you decide which one you would like your money to go to.  If you do not wish to take the time to find one, I would suggest WWF (World Wildlife Fund) as they have over 45 years of experience and work with over 100 countries in the battle to save many species, including the tigers.  You may find them at http://www.worldwildlife.org/

We were so swamped tonight that neither Kristen nor I got a break of any length of time.  It was insane…seriously.  At one point we looked at a building on a street corner through one of our cameras and we couldn’t even see the store front of the building – only people.  There were literally thousands of people out tonight in the downtown area.

There were so many fights, assaults, drunks, and rowdy people that it was nonstop even after the bars closed for over an hour.  My coworker got off at 3am but she could have easily stayed till 4am because we were still so busy.

What made it worse is the number of units on because between them and the guards, they kept walking all over each other’s radio traffic.  Also, our radios and computers weren’t working right so things kept getting hairy as we tried to get keep track of everything.

If my coworker hadn’t been here and I had to do tonight all by myself – I think I’d be seriously considering finding a new job.  Everyone was getting so testy.  Even the jail staff were getting irritated with us.  One of our arrestees got sick over there so they were angry with us.  We ended up calling an ambulance over for the guy but then he assaulted the ambulance driver and got away.  We re-caught him a few blocks away.  What a mess.

My coworker took tomorrow night off – I am hoping it is dead but with the holiday being on Monday, who knows?

Wish things would calm down just a bit here. It is 3:08am and things are still clipping along. So far it has been mostly little, irritating things that take too long to deal with.

Have things to think about so would like to have the chance tonight while staring at the world through cameras. It gives one a sort of “connected in a detached sort of way” feeling that is conducive to hashing life over.

My officers are being pricks tonight – it irritates me to no end and makes me thrilled I have the next several days off. I hate when they act like jerks – I have 13 people to keep track of and don’t need the extra guff from them.

Part of it is that they are disappointed they didn’t have more exciting calls than what they have had and part of it is I’m not among their favorite dispatchers. Why? Because I’m not under 35 and “cute” like the younger dispatchers are. I’m not as old as the older dispatchers who they think of as motherly either so I fall in the middle.

Being a middle child, you would think I’d be use to it but it still irritates me. I haven’t done anything to these guys – yet some nights, not always, but some nights they act like I’ve got leprosy or something.

{sigh} If I say anything then I’m accused of being too sensitive. Whatever. I know I’m in a foul mood because of what is going on the next few days but still – I know I’m not imagining their snide remarks either.

I have come to realize the only way I’ll be saved from the rut and complacency of life is to be published – I have to work on it more assiduously, that is for sure.

Well, it is 12:42 am and I’m already bored stiff.  I’ve played Bejeweled and Gem Swap for as long as I can without going into convulsions – now I’m in for a long night.

Really, I’m not into the computer games – I’ve tried Solitaire, Free Cell, and Spyder too but nothing holds my interest.   My farms are all worked and no one is on Facebook.

I even went through some manuals here at work to refresh my memory on different procedures.  Absolutely nothing is working.  I don’t know if it is because I have to go to the bathroom so badly that my mind refuses to focus on anything else or what.  Law and Order is playing and I muted it because it was disturbing me.

We haven’t been busy thus far tonight.  Our traffic stop king is working though & he has started to do stops so I imagine that will give me something to do unless he gets an OWI which will take up an hour or more.

Wish County or NL would bring in an OWI so I could at least be a little entertained.

My friend Jessica came to visit me at work for a little while.  It was so fun talking to her and laughing over stuff that it made me sad she quit.  We had such a great time at work – I miss that.  Work has lost it’s luster except for four hours on Monday and Tuesday nights when I get to work with another fun person.  Those eight hours a week of fun barely counteract the hours I spend with negative people or by myself.

I still have six hours left to go – I just hit the halfway point for this night.  I know I will get through it alright but I wish it would hurry along a little.  Course, once the guys start doing a zillion traffic stops I will be changing my tune.

I’ve been up the last several weeks but tonight has brought me down slightly.  It isn’t being tired – it is mostly missing Jessica and worrying over things beyond my control.  I miss my peeps down in Florida – miss having options like going to the beach, renting a skido, hiking Myakka, etc.

Come winter I will be kicking myself for not doing more this summer to enjoy Iowa but honestly, nothing sounds new or exciting here.  I can go walk trails I’ve walked my entire life, swim in murky water, rent a boat but have no one to go with, not much else to do really.

This winter I am buying cross country skis so I can take up that sport.  The walking trail by my house is wide and maintained a little bit which would make skiing it about perfect.  Plus then the dogs could still get their longer walk in cuz I’ll take them with me – maybe they can even pull me along…thought that wouldn’t give me a lot of exercise.

One of my coworkers cross country skis so need to see about going out on the golf course with her on Thursday nights.

Anyway, nothing else to write about really.

I ordered “The Shining” miniseries from Netflix a couple of weeks ago.  I have the one with Jack Nicholson in it but also like the longer one that follows the book better so figured I’d watch it again before I decided on owning it.

Netflix, in their infinite wisdom, sent me disk 1 of the two disk set.  Now why would I want to only watch the first half??? The second disk is suppose to reach me tomorrow or Thursday but still.  If they couldn’t send me both disks at once, then they should have sent me a separate movie and sent both disks the next time.

See, my membership is 3 at once.  So they sent me two other movies plus the first disk of the Shining.  It really boggles my mind.  If disk two wasn’t available then they should have gone on to the next movie on my list and sent both disks when I return the three they just sent.

Also, why is one movie considered “2″ disks? They should be sent together as one of my selections not two.  Who would watch only the second half of the movie? I don’t get it.

Overall, I like Netflix better than I did Blockbuster because Netflix tries to send things in the order I request on my list whereas Blockbuster would send me whatever they felt like.  I might get movie #1, 45, and 110 from Blockbuster which always irritated me because why organize your list (which they recommend) if they aren’t going to go by it?

Anyway, I will wait until disk two arrives before sitting down to watch the Shining miniseries – hopefully tomorrow.

I am not a big chocolate fan – I don’t eat candy bars that often and when I do it is more for the coconut in the Mounds bar than the chocolate.  I rarely crave a candy bar.

However, tonight I do.  I was hoping the weather would lighten up enough for me to walk down to the convenience store but so far it hasn’t done so at a time when a Lt is available to cover for me.  Do you know how aggravating it can be to not be able to leave a room when you want?  I have to say that is the biggest thing I hate about this job.

Course in another month or so, if we are lucky, we will have our trainees out of training which means there will be two of us here so we will have a bit more freedom.  I can’t wait.

I do have a night Lt who is often nice enough to grab me a drink or something on his way back into the office but this could be hours from now…I don’t want to wait that long.  Don’t know why we can’t have a vending machine here in the office complex.  Ugh.  I get so cranky when I’m craving chocolate and can’t have any.