Frozen Toes, Fingers and Nose

Darn it is cold out there!!! I am so ready for spring.  It isn’t that I hate winter – I hate being cold.  If we could have the snow and it stay up around 29-31 degrees the whole winter, I’d be just fine.  This negative temperatures crap is enough to drive a person to drink.

Really don’t know what to write because I haven’t been doing much – reading and working.  Not that I’m complaining, I’m not.  I’m seriously thinking about taking a vacation in Feb or March – drive myself somewhere with my cool GPS buddy Daniel. 

Right now I’m home – I don’t understand why it has been taking me an hour or more to get home these days.  Sure I go the long route but the roads are good so it shouldn’t be too bad.  Of course, I got behind someone today who sped up to get around me, cut me off and then slowed way down the entire way home.  He went 35 in a 55 and 25 in the 45.  By the time we got to town, the line of cars strung behind us as far as the eye could see.  I hate idiots like that.  There was no room to pass him or he would have eaten my dust.  I think what happened is he started out fast and then got a phone call on his cell so slowed way down because he was no longer paying attention to the speed zones.  I think this because he kept one hand up to his ear the whole time and he went off on the shoulder twice before jerking back onto the roadway.

I’m making pizza now for supper and then will probably read for awhile.  Tomorrow I work 3-11pm rather than 11am-7pm – something I volunteered for.   If I hadn’t, they would have paid someone OT for it I guess but I don’t want to work another 12 hour day and it would have been mine if no one else wanted it.

I was cranky when I got home but the pineapple/orange/rum drink I drank has mellowed me out some. 

Sober, Unsmiling and Severe

Last night wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated – my trainee did a good job so I hardly had to do anything.  I’m thrilled my training days are over for the next two to three weeks! Tomorrow and Sunday I’m taking my laptop to work – downloaded several new books to it yesterday so will have a ton to choose from.  We did not get a single break – not even a bathroom break, the entire night…that sucked.

I downloaded “Watchers” and “The Strangers” both by Dean Koontz, “Gerald’s Game” by Stephen King, and “The Hunters” by Jason Pinter.  I am already reading the “Harry Bosch” series – finished “The Last Coyote” by Michael Connelly on Thursday and stared “Trunk Music” yesterday.  I need to get the three books that are 1, 2, and 3 in the series rather than starting at 4, 5, and 6 – but the latter was only $1.69 and the first group is $10.  I’ve read Harry Bosch stories before and liked him so am going back to the older stories of him.

Came home and my apartment was freezing cold.  I had left the thermostat at 55 and it was quite chilly.  I’ve turned it up but this radiator heat takes a long time to heat a room.  I have it up to 65 now but will turn it back down to 60 once the place warms up.  I’m making some hot tea now which isn’t conducive to falling asleep but will warm me up faster.

I should take the tree down today – doubt that I will but I might.  It is so pretty to take down but guess it needs to come down sometime.  I want to move the furniture around once I’ve got the tree out-of-the-way.  Damn, I’m tired.  We are suppose to get snow today…irritates me.

Christmas

I want to say to all those bah humbug people that I am acutely disappointed in them.  What happened to neighborhoods fixing up their houses all along the block? What happened to the Festival of Lights in Coralville? Why are more houses dark this year than have decent decorations? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???

I know Christmas is a hectic time and all that but Christmas lights/decorations are a big cornerstone of having the Christmas spirit.  Really, what is going on out there? I counted 11 houses with Christmas lights on my way home and 19 without…that is just damn unacceptable. I told my son I should have written down all the addresses and sent out letters about how their lack of holiday spirit dampened those who drove by their houses.  Most of them aren’t spreading joy in any other way so the lights can be their holiday gift to the general population.

Well, that has made me forget the other topic I was going to write about tonight so I guess I’ll go to bed.  It is 11pm anyway which is way past my bedtime on a work night – 5:30 am is going to come awfully fast.  Still, wish I could remember what the other topic was…

I Will Never Understand

I will never understand someone who complains about people who are so rude that they don’t answer their text messages – and yet, they themselves don’t answer the ones they receive.  Don’t they understand turnabout is fair play?  How childish.   One would think we weren’t dealing with adults here.

I have a friend whose girlfriend broke up with him and he is having a hard time dealing with it.  I understand that, I do.  Right now he is hating all women – lumping us into the same mold that he was complaining just a few days ago that women lumped men into.  I find it childish on his part that he won’t even acknowledge a text saying good morning.  He is sulking and everything and everyone around him suffers collateral damage.   Maybe I am too harsh but I have little patience for this kind of thing.  If he doesn’t feel like talking, he should text and say so rather than ignore my text altogether.  I am not his girlfriend – I am merely a friend…it won’t hurt my feelings if he said I don’t feel like texting today…what bothers me is the silent treatment.  I’m not the one who broke his heart.

I know, women out there are already making excuses for his behavior and probably think I’m being heartless.  But why should I put up with rude behavior? Seriously? It is called CONVERSATION and people have been doing it for centuries.  Don’t give me the rude silent treatment hoping I’ll get the message – open you mouth and tell me damn it.  I’m not fragile, I don’t break – I am not in kindergarten or so young that I’ll shed tears over it. 

When he feels better, he’ll start texting again as if nothing has happened – it has happened like this before.  I will say something to him about this behavior, he will apologize, and we pass it off as “just one of those things” and life will go on as if it were never interrupted.  BUT, it still pisses me off right now – GROW UP already! 

Morning Awakens to COLD

It is hard to believe that it was 60+ degrees yesterday.  It is 35 right now and not forecasted to get much higher than that.  Tomorrow there is a chance of snow…sigh.  I guess it has to come sometime but kind of wish it would have waited another couple weeks.  My coworker is very anxious for the stuff as she snowboards and can’t wait to be able to do that.  I should see about renting cross country equipment from the University.

I have errands to run again today but am not sure how quickly I’ll get around to doing them.  I want to go get some chairs for the table my son is bringing me – want to get a tablecloth for it too.  They make a tablecloth that matches my dish set so I will, of course, buy it.  They make placemats too but that would be a little much so I figured, the Tuscan tablecoth and solid placemats sometimes and a solid tablecloth with the Tuscan placemats sometimes.    Sure wish they would come out with a completer set for it.

I have started rearranging the house – did the bedroom already this morning but have stuff from the living room to move in there now that there is room.  I want to move the treadmill back into the living room since it is getting too cold to walk very far.  I think I will start using it five days a week instead of two to three.  Going to try to go farther too – three miles instead of one.

Well, I best get a move on…

It’s Gonna Be

a very interesting day.  I am here at work, it is 7:04 am and I am operating on less than three hours of sleep.  I’m thankful I’m not training today because I wouldn’t have been any good at it.

Went to bed last night around 10:30pm hoping I would get a decent enough amount of sleep.  Well, I was up again by 12:15am because I heard a loud vehicle outside gunning it’s engine and honking it’s horn.  Then there were people laughing and carrying on out on the sidewalk as all the drunks in the next building found their way home (or maybe they were going out…I really don’t know).

Wide awake, but oh so weary, I tossed and turned once they finally left the area returning the night to a soft silence.  At 1am I decided that I wasn’t going back to bed because I was wide awake so I turned on music very low hoping it would be like a lullaby helping me drift off to sleep.  It didn’t.

So 1:30-3am saw me up watching tv.  About 3:15 or so I finally started to feel drowsy so I set the tv to automatically turn off in 30 minutes.  I was about to drift off when Bennie informed me he needed to go outside so I had to get back up for that.  I lay there listening to Columbo until the tv shut off.  Last time I looked at the clock it was 4:04 – drifted off and was awakened around 5am by another car outside delivering papers.  So that was my night.

I got up, walked the dogs again and got ready for work…yippee.  My only consolation is that this is the last day I have to work for the next five so I will have plenty of opportunity to get caught up on my sleep.

Also, I can’t complain too much because one of the officers worked 16 hours yesterday, went home for 8 hours of which he probably slept five, and came back in for another 16.  He is here now until 3pm.  I realize he signed up for the OT but that is still damn brutal.

Gone South

How can one’s mood go south so quickly? I was fine when I got off work – went and picked up my son & we went to Panera for coffee.  It was fine – I was fine…until I knocked over a full mug of hot coffee all over myself, the table, the booth seat, and the floor.  My son’s lightning reflexes saved him – thank goodness.  It was a disaster and it burned.

From there everything went downhill – I missed the turn to take him to work, which I’ve never done before, so he was almost late (had less than 2 minutes to spare) – then I went down the interstate, missed my exit so had to go down to the next one which is a tad bit longer but also has way more traffic.  I got behind someone who decided to go 25 in a 55 and could not pass.  We had a line at least three quarters mile long if not a full mile by the time we actually got to the 25 mph zone.  I’m surprised the asshole didn’t slow down to 5mph.

Got home in a semi-bad mood, sticky and wet.  Came inside and the dogs had made a big mess in their kennel which meant cleaning that, cleaning them and walking them.  I can barely hold my anger inside.  I was going to take my sister’s cat because her husband doesn’t want her to have it anymore – but I realized it would just be more of a disaster every day than just the dogs so had to decline.   My dogs chase the cats around here all the time – Bennie tries to grab them in his mouth – so no point putting myself or the cat through that.  I’m sure she can take it to the animal shelter and they will find a nice home for it if she can’t find anyone to take her.  I would love to have her – I love cats and she is a sweetie – but I have to draw the line somewhere for sanity’s sake.  Didn’t want Bennie and while I love him dearly, he is a big chore and the culprit behind most of the messes.  Someone told me he’d settle down once he was fixed – that is so not true…he is still just as bad as he was.

So here it is after 9pm and I have to be in bed in less than an hour.  I have done none of the things I had planned to do here at home plus I have to put up with that yucky wet dog smell until the dogs dry off.  I’m just so irritated I could gnaw my own hand off.

Worms

Have I ever mentioned that I do not like worms? I hate them.  They are slimy, slithery things that make me want to gag.  I prefer snakes to worms any day of the week – snakes may slither but they generally aren’t slimy.   

Nothing ruins my walks with the dogs like worms.  I can’t relax and enjoy the walk at all which makes me more aggravated with the dogs who, obviously, don’t deserve it.  It isn’t their fault our path is littered with slobbery gross squirmy things that make me want to vomit.  I get back and I’m afraid to take off my boots for fear I will find something plastered to the bottom that I have no desire to see – I’d rather have dog shit on my boot then dead worms.  Seriously.

I don’t know when this acute aversion to worms began.  When I was a child, I would go fishing with my grandpa (yes, I was a tomboy) and never flinched at winding one of those gross things on my hook – or doing my sisters hooks either when they thought it was yucky.

Several times my brother-in-law’s dad would put a stake in the ground and electrify it which served to bring the creepy crawlies squirming out of the ground.  He would give me a jar or can and I’d scoop the worms up for him without worrying about gloves.  I dissected a worm in biology class and barely gagged at all.

But now if I see the things I want to run back inside and forget walking the dogs.  Who cares if they potty on the floor? Isn’t that preferrable to walking out among the worms.  You are wondering, no doubt, what brings the worms out on some nights and not others – or perhaps you know already because you use to fish – it is the rain.  Any time it starts to rain the worms come sprinting out of the grass to seek higher ground which, as it so happens, is usually the sidewalk.  I try to step around their slimy bodies but it is hard when there is a cluster. 

On the dark, unlit sidewalks it is hard to tell the difference between a worm and a twig so I have to avoid both which is quite the challenge.  I won’t wear my good tennis shoes outside in the rain because of the worms.  I have been out walking on a cloudy day and had it start raining – those slimy little bastards would spring out like a plethora of canned crazy string into my path, daring me to find a way around them…insidious little bastards.

After Midnight Again

Well, I’ve spent hours typing and working on my story.  As of a few minutes ago, I am still almost 4,000 words behind BUT I am more confident I can catch up now.  The story is moving a little bit faster again but still has such a long way to go.  Part of me wishes it was done already because I’m sick of it.  I’ve never stayed this long with only one story since I wrote Siren’s Song over six years ago.  Usually I write on one until I’m bored and then go to another one – which is probably one reason I don’t have any finished or near to being finished.

The story is so very rough and unsophisticated – no way it could ever be ready to publish without major rewrites from beginning to end.  However, that wasn’t really my intention when I decided to do NaNo for the first time.  Of course it would have been great to have a story that just wrote itself like Siren’s Song did but the challenge I issued to myself was to actually get the words in and meet the deadline.  I have never had a deadline before or a set number of words – I must admit that the number of words makes me stressed but it isn’t a bad stress necessarily.  It is more feeling like I need to write and sometimes I just don’t feel like writing a damn thing. 

This contest has been good for me and hopefully will help my writing career…if I ever actually have a writing career.  I do think the writing part is looking better after this exercise but am still skeptical about the publishing part as a whole.  My first love is Siren’s Song – I suppose because it is the first full length novel I’ve ever completed.  People who have read it believe that it is publishable but I don’t know.  It would be mind-boggling to even try to figure out how to begin pursuing publishing.  I know that sounds lame but it is true.  I’ve been going through the writer’s market and the literary agent books – it is not easy to figure out what the jumping off point should be.

Where my writing is concerned, I’m too much like my mother I guess.  She never thought her writing was good enough to publish either though many of us disagreed.  I would love to have her story published – it would require a ghost writer who could follow her simple style so the reader wouldn’t see where Mom’s writing ended and the ghost writer’s began.  Not too many people want to be a ghost writer who doesn’t get any of the credit.  I would finish Mom’s book but I don’t think I could – it is a western and I honestly don’t have the interest in that genre to do hers justice.  Still, wish someone would as it would be awesome to see her name on a published book posthumously. 

Well, anyway, I need to go walk the dogs and then get to bed.  It is 12:30am and will be 1am before I can actually relax in bed so need to get moving.  Tomorrow is going to be a stressful day of training.  Training isn’t bad if the trainee and myself are alone in dispatch but tensions rise as more people get added to the mix.  Ugh.  My trainee is doing really well though so that is a big plus.

Deadlines Suck

So here I worked to get up to today’s deadline words for NaNo and was really impressed with my word count…until the clock flipped over to the new day and the word count went up again.  Now I am way behind again – I was about 4,000 words behind so now I’m 5800 again.  It is still better than the 9,000 I was behind but I’d rather be ahead of the game instead of behind.

My story is a difficult one to write – I’ve never tried this genre before and it is harder than I thought it would be.  I almost changed stories shortly after I started to one I was more comfortable with but decided to pursue something difficult for the practice.  I’m afraid the story will pretty much be crap though when I am done – it isn’t near as good as I had hoped it would be.  Maybe I will challenge myself to this kind of thing every month – it has kept me writing semi-regularly, even when I haven’t felt like it.

I promised myself I’d be back in bed by 1am so I need to wrap this up and start writing again.  Who knows, maybe I can get another 1,000 words or so done before then.