Tonight I woke up with the thought that I’m not living life, it is just something that resembles it. Not sure what brought the thought to mind but it made me feel sad and down. Now, two hours later, I still feel sad and down.
Now I sit here wondering how am I going to change things? Damn it – I’m so sick of things. I know we all live quiet lives of desperation – of wanting things we shouldn’t have; of wishing things were better for our families and ourselves; etc., etc., etc. I’m so tired of it.
No, of course that doesn’t mean I am suicidal or depressed – how many people walk around thinking the same god damn thing? Millions upon millions. That is how the whole saying of “quiet lives of desperation” came about – enough people have them to make it a cliché.
What about excitement? What about helping more people? What about adrenaline? What about making a difference? What about LIVING LIFE? Ugh.