Do you still?

Like A Rock lyrics

Stood there boldly, sweatin’ in the sun
felt like a million, felt like number one
at height of summer, I’d never felt that strong
Like a rock

I was eighteen, didn’t have a care
workin’ for peanuts, not a dime to spare
but I was leanin’, solid everywhere
Like a rock

My hands were steady, my eyes were clear and bright
my walk had purpose, my steps were quick and light
And I held firm, to what I felt was right
Like a rock

Like a rock
I was strong as I could be
like a rock
Nothin’ ever got to me
like a rock
I was somethin’ to see
like a rock

And I stood arrow straight
unencumbered by the weight of all these hustlers and their schemes
I stood proud I stood tall high above it all
I still believed in my dream

Twenty years now, where’d they go?
Twenty years, I don’t know
I sit and I wonder sometimes
where they’ve gone

And sometimes late at night, oohhh when I’m bathed in the firelight
the moon comes callin’ a ghostly white, and I recall
I recall

Like a rock
Standin’ arrow straight
like a rock
chargin’ from the gate
like a rock
carryin’ the weight
like a rock

oohhh like a rock
the sun upon my skin
like a rock
hard against the wind
like a rock
I see myself again
like a rock

OK, so I was listening to this song several times today – got to thinking about the past and all the stuff this song always makes me think about – how young and stubborn I was, so determined I knew what I wanted in life. Where did that person go?

The part where he says “I stood proud and I stood tall, high above it all, I still believed in my dreams” is what I’ve been thinking about mostly this time. Do I still believe in my dreams? Do you?

I realize our dreams change over time – mature and all that – but do you still dream of a life uncommon or are you to that age where “it is what it is”? I go back and forth, of course. Every now and then I find a smidgen of that youthful strength, shake my fist and say with conviction that “I believe” but most of the time it is more of a “princess” wave and a weak “I sorta believe”. Every now and then it is a shake of the head in total disgust and wonder what there is left to believe in.

Sometimes I don’t have the strength to do anything other than cry softly in my coffee. Where does the time go? How did all these years fly by in such a blink of an eye??? I remember holding my son for the first time – the absolute, unadulterated love I felt when they placed him on my chest. He is 31, going on 32…when did I get to be so old?

I know it sounds like I am depressed but I am not – I’m just old, fat and feeling like I’m waking up after a long sleep. I look in the mirror and do not recognize the woman looking back at me – who is she and how did I become her without really paying attention?

Every day I made choices that have brought me to this place I find myself – I made CHOICES. Funny that one makes choices all the time without really seeing the “big” picture and then when the canvas is revealed, we wonder who was the blind person throwing paint at the canvas of our lives?

Oh well, enough on this topic – it is making my headache worse.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s