Surviving the Creature Attack

Have you ever noticed that when people find themselves facing monsters, they assume there is only one?
No matter how many times the creature strikes and how great the distance, no one even considers that there might be two or more.  Then one of the not-so-brainy hunters makes a trap and never considers all the avenues of possible failure.  They make the trap point one way because they think they can control what way the creature will come from.  They take a weapon with them but don’t stop to ponder if that weapon is capable of killing the creature they are hunting.   That is as bad as the person who grabs a gun without checking to see if it is loaded…like how dumb can you be???

What is this with setting their traps in stupid locations? Like the guy who puts the cage on the dock, gets in the cage and never think that the creature might be big enough to knock the cage in the water.  You don’t have to be eaten to die in a creature feature.

One thing that you don’t want to be in a monster flick is an extra who is in love.  You see, a person who is in love  and who loses their boyfriend or spouse to the monster, will also die.  We can’t have people mourning each other – it is best if we believe they are reunited in death.  Of course, if you are the 2nd important male who is in love with the daughter of the main character – you can be certain that your death is inevitable.  It bonds the child to the parent more when their girl/boyfriend dies a tragic death, preferably in front of the teenager…we all know teenage love doesn’t last and that the young character will bounce back because teens are resilient.

I know it is something I often mention but running after the creature into the woods or water is not a good idea.  You will be killed, no doubt about it.  Also, why do people stand there to see if the creature is really dead after it falls to the ground?  Why wouldn’t you take that opportunity to stab, shoot or behead it?  Then they get all upset when the creature jumps up to chase them again.  Are they morons or what? Those people, I’m afraid, deserve what they get.

OK, another gripe – why does the main character always come up with some MacGyver idea in the end that wipes out all the creatures? This ship was “stripped bare” we were told not once but twice – yet the main character comes up with a welding torch, gas for it, rope, pulleys, car tires, etc to make a bomb.  Wow, that is damn amazing.  He just blew the ship up and managed to SWIM to a point further up the beach than his daughter who was on foot and started out like ten minutes before he did.

I think I’m going to go to the movie “Super 8” today – it is an alien movie that my sister said was alright but kind of cheesy.  Figured I needed to do something on my day off to have some fun and give me more things to rant about.  🙂


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