Tired

I am so damn tired I can hardly see straight.  We had our family pre-funeral get together tonight to discuss what we wanted in the eulogy.  I didn’t have any input because I know Ric, our brother, will do an excellent job if left to his own devices.  He has done the eulogy for our mother and grandmother – both were good.

I’m freezing too.  It is so cold in here that the hot tea I just poured is cold already.  It is ridiculous.  I suppose I should shut the windows and turn off the fans.  The place always stinks though if there is no air circulating.  Sure wish a housekeeping fairy would visit so I’d come home to a nice clean place.  Must admit it hasn’t been kept up cuz I’ve been too busy since Sunday.

Really wish I could have Saturday night off work to catch up on sleep and maybe spend some time away from people.  I’ve hardly had any alone time since Sunday and the dogs have barely had any attention either.  I am exhausted all of the time – a result of grief and depression I think.  But I need to get back to work – to get back to a routine and all that.  Still…

Am drinking some chai tea now hoping it relaxes me so I can go to bed in a couple hours.  I still have a few things to do and should clean even but I don’t know how much I can.  Talking about the past and about Linda was so difficult tonight – I found myself wanting to cry several times but am trying to be strong.  Felt so bad for Amy who has been struggling with so much the past week.  Half her siblings didn’t want cremation and the other half did so they decided to have her cremated but the others on happy about it.  Amy doesn’t need anymore stress in her life – she did what she could.  I think she is an awesome young woman – I am very proud of her and know that her mother is too.

Rest in peace, Sis.  I love you.

Oh well – I need to get moving or I’ll fall asleep sitting here.

 

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